what is green an invisible? this cabbage

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2 corpses are sitting on a bridge one fell down both are dead

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your mommas so fat because she has diabetes

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This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

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The hooker walks into a bar wearing a vest and tight denim shorts. A drunken man proceeds in trying to have his way with her. He is thrown out for sexual mis-conduct and is currently waiting for his court date.

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Roses are red violets are blue if you were number one I"ll pick number two, if you were number two then I'll pick POO!

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what is better than your entire family getting brutally murdered applesauce

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I regret everything.....

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How do you fit 10 dead babies in a bowl? A blender How do you get them out? Chips

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Two blondes walk into a building......you'd think at least one of them would have seen it.

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have you ever heard of the mexican that went to college...no...oh me neither

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knock knock who's there? hope

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roses are red violets are blue hey fu i'm making stew out of my own poo

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple All of the antijokes about it

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Grandma got ran over by a reindeer. She died

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Why was Little Billy crying? He had an axe embedded in his chest.

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British Dentistry

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Why did little Johnny fall off his swing? He had no arms.

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Why'd the kid stick ice up his nose? To keep his lunch cold.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swings? Because she had no arms.

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woman's rights

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What has legs but can't walk? A table...or a dog with four broken legs.

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The jets are a good team..

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What did the woman do when her husband told her to make him a sandwich? She made him a sandwich promptly.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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