once upon a time y o u m a d BIBIBIDYYEAHBIIBAIDYEAH THAT'S ALL FOLKS

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A duck walks into a convient store and ask the cashier, "You got any bread?". The cashier immediatley responds, "No sorry, we don't sell bread." The next day the duck comes back and asks the same cashier, "You got any bread?" The cashier sighs and responds, "No, we still have no bread." After browsing for about three minutes the duck comes back and asks, "You have any bread?" The cashier, as pissed off as a beached whale, says, "NO! WE WILL NEVER GET ANY FRICKEN BREAD AND IF YOU ASK AGAIN I'LL NAIL YOUR BEAK TO THIS COUNTER!" The duck sways his head and looks to the ground, only to look right back at the cashier and ask, "You got any nails." The cashier says, "No." The duck comes back and says, "You got any bread?"

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because it's in a chicken coop.

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What happen when a penguin walks into a bar? That is an almost impossible occasion. Penguins first of all waddle not walk and they only live in Antarctica and zoos, therefor they will not be able to enter one unless Antarctica becomes populated.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Go home and hang yourself.

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Howdid we get copper piping we put a Pennie between two Jules

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A girlfriend scolds her boyfriend for "sitting on anti-joke all day." He then explains how it is impossible to sit on something that exists purely in digital form and instead noted it would be more correct to say sitting at a desk all day. She complied and saw the error of her ways.

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I like my coffee like i like my woman.... with big titis.

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Who wants pizza crusts?

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What is a chair?

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How did the jew win a marathon? Through hard vigorous training by running everyday and eating healthy.

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Knock, knock No, I do not want to hear about God.

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How do black men eat chicken? Chicken goes in bone come out.

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Person 1: Hey Person 2: What's up? Person 1: Kill Yoself Person 2: Alright

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Gangnam style

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Did you hear about the plane that crashed and killed 1000 people? My sister has cancer.

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Why does the Green Giant's vegetables taste funny? He stands over his peas and corn.

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whats small and blue? a suffocated baby

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roses are red violets are blue you're an orphan, had to break the news...sorry little fella.

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ask me if I'm a tree.. are you a tree? no.

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What do you say to a cashier? How much is it?

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Roses are red Violets are blue Peas are green Plums are purple Thieves are black

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What did the disabled boy get on Christmas morning? Cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops