Two scientists walk into a bar. One says "I'll have H20", the other says "I'll have a beer." The first one is the one to drive them to their homes.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? Poke her face

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What do the poor have that the rich need? Nothing.

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What's the difference between a wife and a chef? A chef has the choice to leave the kitchen.

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So this old redneck is sitting on his porch when he sees this boy walking down the road and hollers "What you got there boy?" "Chicken wire." "What you gonna do with that?" "Gonna catch me some chickens." The old guy thought: Dumb boy. You can't catch no chickens with chicken wire. Later that evening he sees the same boy walking with a bunch of chickens. The next day he sees the same boy walking with duct tape. "What you got there boy?" "Duct tape" The boy replies. "Gonna catch me some ducks." The old man leaned back and thought. "Dumb boy, you can't catch ducks with duct tape." Later that evening he sees the boy walking with a bunch of ducks. The next day he sees the same boy and hollers: "What you got there boy?" "I got me some pussy willow." The old man hollers: "Hold on, let me get my hat."

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? It depends how hard you throw them.

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Black People.

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a man walks into a bar, he is injured severely and needs medical attention stat, he is rushed to the hospital where he dies that evening

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What do you call a room with a white man a black man and a hot pocket? A reasonable meal

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what is the difference between a jew and a pizza? Pizza's don't scream when there in then oven.

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Aladdin found a rusty old lamp at the foot of a mountain. He rubbed it and the Ginnie had died after the long drop from the cliff

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Why doesn't Charlie Sheen take showers? Because he spends too much time on MySpace.

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Why did the chicken stop in the middle of the road? To get to the other side.

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what did tyrone want for Christmas? A dad.

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P.E.N.I.S P-enis E-nis N-is I-s S

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Why was the gay kid beaten to death Because he was also an outstanding racist and lived in a highly populated african american community.

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Why did octopus cross the road? Because the road was underwater

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Billy: You're so ugly you made an onion cry! Jack: I'm rubber and you are glue, whatever you say bounces back and sticks to you. Billy was so upset at what he said and decided to leave.

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What did the woman say when the man got her flowers? "Why thank you."

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You're so ugly you got rejected from the zoo.

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-What's the worst part about killing a baby? -Probably either recieving the death sentence or living psychologically scarred in prison for life.

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Whats white and sticky fluff

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say cheese

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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