What did Madeline McCann get for Christmas? Nothing she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What goes up and does not come down? Why the hell ask me.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

> Why wasn't the chicken able to cross the road? > Because he had severe autism and was Ambulophobic.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the blind lawyer say to the doctor? We're both lawyers!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Knock Knock Who's there? Interrupting Doctor Interru- You have cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What is the difference between a bucket of shit and a Jew? The Bucket.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

what is red, black, and blue all over? A horribly painted room.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

you wanna hear a funny joke? so do I

thumb_up thumb_down -9

what?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do the poor have that the rich need? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the serial killer eat for breakfast? You.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the chicken cross the road? Jupiter is the Galaxys biggest planet!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How can you tell if a substance is an acid or a base just by looking at it? You can't. pH or Litmus paper would be necessary in order to determine whether a substance is an acid or a base.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the homeless man get a house key cut? He didn't he's homeless.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

An early Jewish man walks into a bar where a number of stormtroopers have gathered for drinks and is taken into custody and then delivered by railcar to a camp where he and other persecuted minorities are deliberately imprisoned in a relatively small space with inadequate facilities where they await their mass execution.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How long did it take azaha to have a shit? Nine months

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who's there? Alzheimers

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Luck is not real. But the dismembered body in my basement is.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q. How do you kill 5000 flies? A. Slap a afraican in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why didn't the Irishman want to drink anymore? Because he wasn't thirsty.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What does a pelican and a taxman have in common? Both are bipedal, both are carbon-based lifeforms that procreate by DNA replication, both in all probablility eat fish, both have survival instinct, both require fresh water for hydration, both have five senses; vision, hearing, touch, taste and smell, both are capable of at least limited cognition, and both can turn aggressive when provoked.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmicist.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

If I had 10 cents for every time a hobo asked for change i still wouldn't give him any money

thumb_up thumb_down -13

why do all good things come to an end? that is one of the mysteries of human existance.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops