- Mom, you've got a banana in your ear. - Son I can't hear you I've got a banana in my ear!

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Yo mama so fat... Her doctor told her she's morbidly obese and she has 2 years to live if she doesn't change her eating habits and exercise regularily.

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A man walked into a Persian dentist office. After a few hours he leaves the office with his mouth feeling much better because the oral-surgery went exeptionally well.

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Three men of different race and religion are on a plane; they enjoy their flight, and two of them have a good meal with no pork. Thirty years later, two of the men share the same flight, but failed to even recognize each other on the first.

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What is red white and blue Blood. I was lying about the white and blue.

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Why did the black man drown? Because he grew up in a poor neighborhood, where no one had a pool, and so he never learned how to swim

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Q. What do you call 2 black men on a bike? A. Organised Crime

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What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre

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Adam Claypool walks into a bar. He immediately sucks the bartender's dick because he is the biggest queer anyone has ever seen

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So a jelly bean walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "whatchuu doin here jelly bean" the jelly bean doesn't respond and sits there awkwardly because he neither speaks English nor has the brain capacity to move or breathe. The bartender closes the store and comes back the next day to find the bean in the same awkward position.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread, and loaves of bread are incapable of understanding the intricacies of fly-by-wire guidance and propulsion systems.

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There are two muffins in an oven. The first muffin says, "Is it just me, or is it getting hot in here?". The second one says, "Hey, look! A talkin' muffin!".

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How did Sarah Palin see Russia from her house? She didn't.

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Why did the women call 911 on her 12 year old son? Because he was schizophrenic and attempting to commit suicide by hanging himself.

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Redneck girls. Now there's a joke.

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What is 0% sugar, 100% pure, 150% hyperbole, 90% bug-free, has 4815162342 lines of code, autonomous, is awesome, bigger than a breadbox, bread is pain, is bringin' home the bacon, classy, doesn't use the U-word, deja vu, deja vu (oh wait a moment), does barrel rolls doesn't avoid double negatives, doesn't bother with clones, Engage!, Enhanced!, Euclidean!, Excitement!, Exploding creepers, Finally complete!, finger-licking, full of stars, funky LOL, GOTY, Give Us Gordon, Indev, Ingots, and has an End? Minecraft!

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I love results day! for every A* I get 30 pounds! everything else I cut myself.

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Why did the fat guy sit on another guy? They were in a wrestling match.

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Why did Sarah fall of the swing ? Because she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Well it cant be sarah

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I Won a Math Debate................ say it fast unless your blind then dont say it wait you cant read it so uhhm Alaska

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Why did the helicopter crash? Because the driver was fat.

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hi my name is matt mckeon and i like renata saggy tits !!!!!

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Q: whats pink and fluffy? A: Pink fluff.

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roses are red, violets are red, a girl had her period in my garden.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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