Knock Knock Who's there? The police. The police who? Sir, your wife has been killed. Please open the door so that we may discuss this matter. The man then opens the door and listens to the tale of how a disgruntled worker opened fire in a grocery store, killing 13 people including his wife. Unable to cope with this and the fact both his parents passed away earlier that year he later hangs himself soon after the police leave.

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Where do five gay guys walk? Where ever they want to. This is a free country, where people are free to travel as the please, no matter what their sexual orientation may be

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Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

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a little boy takes his lacrosse stick to his mom and says "hey mom this is bob" the mom says "hi bob" and she says to her son "does bob say hi back?" and the boy says "no mom. hes a lacrosse stick."

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Two cows are in a field. One says to the other, "are you worried about this mad cow disease that's going around?" The other replies, "I'm not worried - I'm a squirrel."

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What's red and eats tulips? Your face!

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Two guys walk into a bar.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Alzheimer's. Alzheimer's who? Knock knock!

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why did the man fall off his bike? He got shot by the navy seals, He was a highly decorated terrorist.

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Why do turtles walk slow? They are physically incapable of walking fast.

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What was the pirate's favorite letter W

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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What's worse than opening your pantry door and finding nothing desirable to eat? Repeated high voltage electrical shocks to the anus.

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Why did the boy cross the road He didnt he got hit by a car

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Bill:Ask me to do something. Bob:Go get me a beer Bill:Would you like fries with that?

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Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? It fell.

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How many Alzheimer patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

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was michael jackson black or white? how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie poop? the world will never know

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Four men were walking, and three of them walked into a bar. The fourth one ducked.

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What's pink fluff? Pink fluff. What's blue fluff? Pink fluff holding it's breath. What's red fluff? Angry pink fluff. Ask me if I'm a truck. Are you a tr-- No. What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels. What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple, 'cause the other half's in your mouth. What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Angry pink fluff. What's worse than angry pink fluff? The holocaust. That's not funny. Stop laughing.

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Three guys went barhopping. One slipped and broke his dick.

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What do you call red eyes in the dark? A high black man

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A chickens walks into a bar... And greets her fellow friends

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Q. Why do Italian men have mustaches? A. So they can look like their mothers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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