why did the monkey fall out of the tree? cause it was dead...

3 men walked into a bar... They sat down and had a beer.

What happened when 7 8 9? Six was afraid! HAHAHaha....ha.... wait, no. I told that wrong....

My children are huge mistakes.

A Muslim, a Jew, and a Christian find a magical lamp with a genie inside. He offers each of them one wish. The Muslim wishes that people didn't look at his people as terrorists. The Jew wishes that the Holocaust never happened, and the Christian wishes for world peace. Actually this didn't happen, Genies don't exist.

What did the mute person say to the deaf person? Nothing.

roses are red violets are blue i ate a peanut lets go have sex

Why didn't the woman believe in God? Her own personal beliefs.

What do you call a penis without hair? Apple sause

Why did the guy throw a clock out his window? Because he was mentally unstable and needs help.

Q:Why do people not live forever? A: Because they die dumbass.

nba live 13

What's worse than aids? Super aids.

why wouldnt sally stop spinning? she was trapped in a washing machine

Why didnt Santa give the little Girl her Pony? Santas not real.

Who won the race across the highway, the Mexican or the Frenchman? Neither, as they were struck by a mac truck when attempting to run across the highway and were both killed instantly on impact.

A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

A Jew and a German walk in a bar. they've accepted their peoples past and learned to move on with their lives

Roses are red, violetes are blue, Your monkey sucks.

The WNBA

Knock Knock Who's There? Robin Robin Who? Robin Williams Whoa, too early bro

How do you punish an electrician? Kill his family.

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Why does it matter, they can't chuck wood in the first place.

A hat fell into the Indian Ocean. What happened to the hat? It got wet

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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