A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender asks the rabbi "why the long face?" The rabbi says "to get to the other side." Seeing the puzzled look on the bartender's face, the priest says, "orange you glad he didn't say banana?"

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A man accidentally chops his thumb off while preparing his dinner for the night. He immediately calls an ambulance and has his thumb preserved which is later reattached back onto his hand. He then continues his dream career as a solo pianist.

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What happened to the blonde pregnant women? She died giving birth to her blind and mentally challenged son.

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What did the deaf person say to the comedian? ... ... ... ... I'm sorry, did you say something?

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Roses are red Violets are red Tulips are red Bushes are red Trees are red OH SH*T MY GARDEN IS ON FIRE!!!!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn’t get to cross the road. Halfway through the crossing, it was hit by a car and turned into roadkill. Then a family of black people picked it up and turned it into fried chicken.

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what is the difference between coke and pepsi? -they are competing soft drinks made by different brands

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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- I'm in my mum's car, broom broom. - Get out me car. - Aw.

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What do you call a highschooler who smokes weed, shops at the mall, and has date-raped one girl so far? Popular.

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car> "Get in the car."

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a bald man walks into a hairdressers and demands beans on toast.

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Where did Suzie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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Why couldn't the mexican get a job? He was seven.

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Wha'ts the funniest joke in the world? Written.

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What is 9 + 10? 21

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What do you call a man with a black book? I don't know.

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What do you call a black man with a PhD and loving family? A nigger

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"What is the sound of one hand clapping?" "I'm not quite sure, but your on fire."

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Why doe this filthy bitch take big dildos inside himself? Because he is gay.

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What do you call a black kid with a backpack? I don't know.

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Why does Charlie Sheen do cocaine? Because his father was a poor role model and he's an unstable celebrity.

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Why didn't the puppy play with his toys? They were poisonous.

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Why are reading anti-jokes so funny? Im not sure, i just read them and laughter ensues.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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