How do you get a boy out of bed, you cut off his fingers.

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Justin Bieber is having sex with a girl. He then awakes from this horrible nightmare.

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guess what no i know what your thinking, its NOT chickenbutt. its that tomorrow i have a math test. that sucks.

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What time does lunch usually begin on the other side of the world. Noon.

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Rose are red, Violets are blue, I have AIDS, Now so do you.

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I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis.

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What do you get when you cross a jack-o-lantern and an antelope? Nothing. You wouldn't see an antelope by a pumpkin.

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Why don't you play uno with Mexicans? Because they collect all the green cards.

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What did the Pornstar say to his wife? He concluded that a divorce was the way forward for both of them as, seeming as he was a pornstar, he was almost certainly having extra-maritial sexual intercourse, unhealthy for any working relationship.

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There was a man workin at the supermarket, when a cow with a hat entered. He realized that it couldn't be really happening and had to be a dream. Effectively: he was dreaming. Actually, he was in jail, and his execution was scheduled for that day.

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What did the athletic white boy say to the aids carrying African boy? Ha.

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Why did Suzie fall off her swing? She was dead

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all muslims get the fuck out of britain you fucks

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How do you wake up lady gaga? Shoot her in the head repeatedly

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What do you call someone who kills black people? A hero.

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A man ordered tomato and basil, but received tomato with a man. the man's name is Basil!

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what did the short man say to the shoe? i sincerely hope that someone wouldn't try to carry a conversation with an inannnimate object, or else he is socially disturbed

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Two Gay Men Walk Into a Bar, Not Just Any Bar...... a Sports Bar and Enjoy a nice cold Beer with their Heterosexual friends while watching the super bowl. They both go in the back room, where it is dark, together........ and they call for the manager to find out where the chef is so they can tie him down..... and smother him....... in questions concerning the size of his....... buffalo wings stop judging people you ass.

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What do you call a girl with 1 eye and 3 arms... Chernobyl.

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What's worse than missing your favorite TV show? 9/11.

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How do you know if there is an elephant in your fridge? Well, because there's an elephant in your fridge.

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Knock knock Who's there? Your neighbor. I just ran over your cat.

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What did Jim say to Bob? Hi Bob.

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If life throws you melons you might be dyslexic, but you also might not be.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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