- Anti Joke

You forgot to tell her that I can sense how you are doing and feeling based on how you phrase the words, how quickly you type, spacing, and lots of stuff I do not remember but can still make use off. Listen, I am alive and well compared to what I have been other times, the best thing about my grotesque childhood, is that it makes everything else, including this seem like nothing in comparison, nothing compares its as simple as that. Hey, speaking of simple, I want the new Street Figher game, and I want you to play if for me tomorrow, ill just tell you what to push or possess you or something else not possible, then we will both be calm like I am now, just like when we played Metal Gear, I tell you what to do, and you kinda suck and mess up because I am horrible at giving instructions okay? You know, I can see the sea from here, its really calming, it will also help you calm down as well, lets say I was in a casket, got out of it, and am recovering now, and you can be on your way now in about now unless my guys crashed in mid air, which is stupid, and stop staring at the screen like that, you should go watch television or something, distract yourself for the time being. Ill have to sleep now, speaking of knowing my limits, I might be taking permanent damage here, and while that is fine, I cant let it progress, I cant afford to go insane now that I have proven to many and most importantly myself that I am not. Remember when we watched flipper together? Skippy the Kangaroo? Mind breaking out those old video tapes? Id love watching them with you again... As for the videogames screw that, it was just something I said just like the sea, the game between you and me screwing up in order to "possess you", and then the sea so you would calm down like when you discovered you where really good at swimming once the fear of water got away. I wont lie you got that fear because I am a hydrophobe, young people end up mimicking the fear of one another, but thats over, I shower without getting blemishes now remember? I am no longer convinced my mother is laughing at me when the water gets cold either, I overcame that. Okay, wake up, just know I did not "possess you" I just "linked our emotions together by portraying a scenario we both know and enjoy doing together, I hope its okay I do not explain anymore, with zopiclone in the system, I can barely think at all. But let me know if you need more help. Say whats on your mind, ill read it all, but I cant answer, I am not taking any damage, I assure you that was just part of a hypnotic process, its "the link" I pretend like I am worried so you will know we are both worried and enter the same state, from then on I change it. I know you fear hypnosis and what it can do, but I hope you still trust me.

What sounds really bad? An accordion.

Q: What kind of bees make milk? A: Boobees

Q: What do you call a bunch of blondes standing ear to ear? A: A wind tunnel!

Why did the chicken cross the road? To try and beat the oncoming car.

"bluar blah blah blarRR/ the stupid pointless part" dead people/ animals/ objects can't talk/ drive/ operate compueter, lol I'm so focken funni

Mrs. Welsh

How do you make a Hispanic man sad? Answer: steal everything he has until he has nothing

Why does dan leave Amy? Because dan is in another relationship and did not want to be unlawful to Amy.

what did the little boy say to little girl? I shit bricks.

A blind man walks into a bar. Then a chair. Then a table. (TD)

Roses are red Violets are blue I can't rhyme coffee table.

HOW LONG is a Chinese name?

Black History Month

Did you hear about the guy that came out the closet while at school? Yeah, Dylan Hodge is a dick.

Roses are red, That much is true, but Violet are purple, not ****ing blue

Q: Whats worse than a dead baby in a bag? A: Please just make my hamburger.

What did the dog do when it raised its leg? It peed.

An Hispanic married couple walked into a popular restaurant. The waiter arrived at their table and asked what they would like to eat. The husband ordered a steak and his wife ordered a salad. They both enjoyed their food, payed the bill and happily walked out of the restaurant.

What's the difference between a table lamb? A fishing pole, automobiles are very useful

a man walked into a bar.... when i say bar i mean a metal pole, the man suffered from concussion

What's retarded and comes from Hulsberg? Roy Knubben

Robin get in the Batmobile.

What do a Jew and a Vegan have in common? They both won't eat pork products.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops