A plane crashes on the border of the United States and Canada. Where do they bury the survivors? Why would they bury the survivors? THEY'RE ALIVE

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knock knock who's there? boo don't do this joke again- i'll make you cry if you finish it don't cry it is just a knock knock joke teeheehee

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knock knock zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz knock knock zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz knock kock ding dong ding di-ding dong zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz sigh weeeeeeeeeewooooooooooooooooo zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz hey yo wake up zzz-oh-huh-what-whos there i've been yelling for like five minutes oh sorry jim will you let me in already all right

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A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty, He said 'No'. She asked him if he would want to be with her forever. He said 'no'. She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry, Once again, he replied 'no'. She had heard enough. As she walked away, tears streaming down her face the boy grabbed her arm and said.. 'Asking emotionally charged hypothetical questions that are completely irrelevant to the prior conversation is known as fishing for compliments. Except, your tears seem to reflect a more serious inner emotional neediness. I suggest you seek a psychologist.'

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how do you wake lady gaga up? you punch-her-face

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How do you get a camel out of a desert? a helicopter

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What did the cancer patient do during Willow Smith's "Whip My Hair"? -Nothing.

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What do you call a Muslim running a country? Obama

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she has no arms.

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There women are stuck on an island, a blonde, a brunette and a ranga. They are saved days later.

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The man with a long history of Alzheimer's once said: Roses are red, Violets are blue, Cheese n' toast

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What is large, white, and can't climb trees? A refrigerator.

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What would you do for a klondike bar? I'm allergic to milk.

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Why do black people eat fried chicken? Because eating raw chicken is just wrong.

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When do scientologists go to church? When they are done looking at porn.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van

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Why could the boy not stop shaking? He has Parkinsons Syndrome.

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What's red and has a mask ? Blood, I lied about the mask.

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what did the train say to the other train choo chooo

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What's big, yellow and green? The sun, i was kidding about the green

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What is the funny thing about suicide? nothing...

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How do you get an Irishman out of a bar? You politely ask him to leave.

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gdfhtrfcgsexdfchrthgdfggfhtdtfhdtyfgfdfcghfgdyghhyrtfgrdfdffdtgdfgfghrthfg Alzheimer's.

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What's worse than a truckload of dead babies? Wait a week.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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