- Anti Joke

Did you hear about the dyslexic eye chart maker? His disability caused to him to have a difficult time at work and his production suffered because of this.

THERES AN APP FOR ANTI JOKES ? now thats not funny !

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face!

An Asian teenager bought his first gun, and proceeded to go hunting with his father in the wilderness.

A man walks into a bar with an ape. The ape defecates on the floor. The bartender ordered them both out.

Every 20 seconds, a child in africa starves to death... Every 30 seconds, an obese american teen stuffs their face with McDonalds

what is the difference between babies and trampolines? you take your shoes off when jumping on a trampoline

Some blind tall guy asked a rich dude about time when the rich dude looked at his klock he remembred many things in his ugly terrible life so he said to the blind guy : its 5PM

Why did the koala bear fall outta the tree? He died. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree?? He was stapled to the first koala. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree?? He had no arms. Why did the fourth koala fall out of the tree?? He thought it was a race to the bottom. Why did the fifth koala fall out of the tree?? Peer Pressure.

What did the homeless man get for his birthday. Nothing. Get it: He lived a life along with a giant family and on christmas eve 2012 he broke his kneecap and was in the E.R. He got out of the hospital on christmas only to come home to find a burning house; his house. Every member in his family died except for him as they were all in the house when it caught on fire. The house completely burnt and crumbled, and that is why he is homeless.

why was your family so sad? because you died due to your uncle's son's cousin urinating all over you as a baby causing you to sting yourself continually. did i mention you were born as a scorpion while your family members were all human beings making them neglect and throw you away in their trash when you would always climb out. your family secretly hid affection for you. back to the beginning. when you died everyone in the whole world except bill cosby got cancer at the exact moment you died, but years later (because bill cosby is immortal), he got down syndrome after everyone who was alive during your death died. that is why he goes doo dop bip babbity today.

Why couldn't the unicorn fly? It was a horse.

-What do you call the brown spots in your yard? Dog shit.

What is the Civil War called in Virginia? The War of Northern Aggression.

How do u get an A in algebra? Train a possum.

What do you call a mexican riding a lawnmower? Promoted

Whats hotter than a sunny day. A pot of boiling water.

Why was Bill in jail? He stabbed 17 black people because they didn't deserve welfare checks.

Two Guys walk into a bar; the second one should have seen it coming.

Knock Knock Who's There Santa Santa Who? I stole your dog.

What is the square root of 69? 8.306623863

How many gay men does it take to change a lightbulb? Usually, it takes one gay male to complete this action.

uhh i dont feel like writing a joke

Dan, a 17 year of age male walks into a poor, raggedy bar. The bartender ask for I.D. But Dan continues to walk to the back at a corner booth with his name carved on the wall of the booth. Dan sits downs and begins to cry as the bartender pours a shot glass full of a light whiskey and gives it to him hopes of cheering up Dan, but sobs silently as he swallows the liquor and goes back to weeping to himself. The bartender then sits across Dan and ask if anything is wrong and does he need help. Dan looks up with his eyes glossy as if made porcelain glass, and his face red as if he was smacked across the face. Dan calmly ask the bartender what his name, the old and withering man replied with "Bart" Dan snickers as he finds that a bartender is Bart, because the first four letter of "bartender" is his name. Dan fixs his posture and looks Bart in the eyes, noticing that one of his old friend eyes is grey and bloodshot and constantly looking downward as if focusing on something on the floor. He ask what is with the deformitie of his eye, Bart sighs and pours another drink for himself and softly swallows the warming alcohol and tells Dan "I had an older bother, who pretty much invented the term asshole, but I loved him with all my heart. But one Christmas when I was young enough to know the meaning of family, my brother got a BB gun to hunt stray cats and raccoons" with a pause to down another liquid nummer "he was teasing me, and firing at my feet to scare me, if mom would have found out he was shooting his brother and not diseased filled animals mom would have token it away, but while he cut my toenails with metal bb's I trip and fell. The bb entered the side of my skull, piercing my eye and blinding my left eye forever" Dan just sits still looking at the empty shot glass pondering on why a mans brother would shot him. "But it's fine, he moved out two years later and haven't heard from him since, for all I know he maybe dead as we speak" Dan just berries his face into his cross arms now leaning on the old oak table. "So what's got a youngster like down?" Dan wipes his nose on his sleeve and looks Bart in his good eye "my brother died two days ago to a drug overdose, he was supposed to go to the movies but he ended up at a party and he tried a new drug and just died...and if that's not bad, my mom, my sweet mother has been dignosed with small cell cancer...and has a max of two years to live" Dan runs his hand down the wall over his name carved into the booth, "Dan and Sarah forever and for life" surrounded by a heart. "I don't like when people carve $hit into my wall but I left this because it was sweet, so how is the lady" as Bart began to pour yet another drink "dead" Dan whispered, "what happened?" Dan takes the drink from In front of Bart and downs the fluid without second wind. "She was at a hockey game and she decided to leave early because her favorite team was losing, on her way home a drunk driver swerved into her lane, head on collision, her legs were trapped by the Dashboard and steering wheel but her top half.....her top half flew out the windshield and landed on the side of the road, the believe she bled out before she hit the pavement " Bart got up and walked to the bathroom as Dan sucks the bottle away. Dan never told anyone his girlfriend died but he felt better telling Bart his true feelings. Dan walked into a bar, asked the bartender about a scar while his girl is smashed by car and I took this anti-joke way to far.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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