A man walks into the doctor's office and says, "Doc, every time I drink coffee, my eye hurts". The Doctor then tells him, "You have an infection called conjunctivitis, also known as pinkeye"

Two men walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

Women's Sports

Q:Why did the man get hit by the car? A:He was standing on the road.. ;DDD

Knock knock! Who's there? This. This who? This joke.

Why did the bartender kick out the three jews at midnight? Because the bar closes at 11.

you: guess what somebody: what? you: you have cancer

potatoes

Smart Blondes

Why did the chicken cross the road? Chickens can not talk, therefore we can never find out from the chicken, who is the only thing that knows why it crossed the road. Scientists have study chickens and say that it most likely saw something edible, like a bug or some grain and walked over to eat it.

Q:why do bananas where sunscreen? A:beacause they peel!!haha

there were 2 sausages in a frying pan. One sausage says it sure is hot in here. The other one says WTF a talking sausage!

What is the different between a blonde and a rock? nothing.

What's worse than finding your dad's wedding ring while fingering your sister ? 3 bee stings.

Why couldn't Larry walk his dog? Larry doesn't have a dog.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the sloth fall out of the tree? Because it was holding hands with the monkey. Why were the monkey and the sloth holding hands? Because they were best friends.

If all the world was like Jesus...wouldn't we all die on crosses?

Q: What do you call a black girl with braces? A: A black and decker pecker wrecker

Two men walk into a bar. You would have thought the second one would have ducked.

how many large people can you fit in a bath tub ... 1/16

what is the difference between a indian and a trampoline? you take you shoes off to jump on the trampoline.

I hate when Harry Potter showers in my Potatoes....

What's the diffrents beetween a carrot and a dead baby? One I like to eat in my soup, the other one s a carrot.

whats worse than 10 dead babies in my garage? 11 dead babies in my garage

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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