why do elephants drink so much? to try to forget.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

An Englishman, an American, and an Australian walk into a bar. They speak English to each other.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why did the Mexican push his wife off a cliff? Because after twenty long years of monotonous nagging, he finally snapped.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

A: ask me if I'm a truck. B: why? A: just ask me. B: are you a truck? A: no.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

How did the blonde girl get pregnant? Her boyfriend used a condom left in his pants and then was washed. Making it defective and causing her her to become pregnant.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

twilight

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Where did Ellen go after the explosion? Everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What do you call a white guy surrounded by 10 black guys? In this situation, the minority.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

How do you tell if there is an elephant in your refrigerator? Check for footprints in the butter.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

There were two muffins in an oven one muffin said, "Is it hot in here or is it just me?" the other muffin said, "AHHH A TALKING MUFFIN!"

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have ADHD, Oh look a butterfly...

thumb_up thumb_down +30

how do you wake lady gaga up? you punch-her-face

thumb_up thumb_down +30

If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, how many does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What do you call a snake with no arms? Normal. What do you call an amphibian with no arms? A caecilian. What do you call a girl with no arms? A poor, poor soul that is unfortunate enough to have had an amputation when young. Now, she can't go in public without being stared at. She can't catch herself when she trips. She can't ride a bike, bake cookies for her family, or be a NASA astronaut like she always dreamed. She is the normal ASDF Movie character.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

whats worse then a baby with out floaties?.......beating your grandma to death with a puppy

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

GAME OVER!!!!!! OF COURSE!!!!!! I BEHELD AS SATAN FELL FROM THE SKY..: LIKE LIGHTNIIIIIIIIIIIING! Street Fighter 2: The (antijoke) Movie. Moral: Raul Julia, you are the man, rest in peace dude you made that movie a masterpiece, do not give this a thumbs up for me, but for the most brilliant performance he ever gave.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

what do you call a 40 year old man working at a burger king that dropped out of highschool dyslexic

thumb_up thumb_down +30

How do you get a clown to stop smiling? Throw a brick at him.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Steve,Jerry and tom all go into the mens toilets, because they are men.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

240

thumb_up thumb_down +28

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did the bartender kick out the three jews at midnight? Because the bar closes at 11.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops