What is the biggest, most elaborate lie? Santa Clause

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who touched the priests sticky hand? Jake Duncan

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My mom caught me masturbating.

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What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

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What is red and tastes like parsley? Red Parsley

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dad; were is ur head son; its on my neck duh

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Four rats are smoking in an alley. One rat turns to another and comments, "These are some fine smokes. Where'd ya score these?" The rat holding the pack of Menthols replies, "Off a' Fred." He points to a rotting whale carcass in the road. The other rats are horrified. "How did a whale die in the street?!," they squeak. "He didn't. He died on the beach."

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YOLO.

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What do you get when you mix a panda,oklahoma,and a handle? The oklahoma panhandle.

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What did Obama get at the bar? A shot... In the head.

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What did the doctor say when he lost his glasses? Where are my glasses?

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A black man walks into a bar. It turns out he is a notorious serial killer and he procedes to violently murder everyone in the bar.

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A white guy, a black guy, and a Spanish guy jump off of a building. Due to acceleration of gravity, they hit the ground at a fast speed and die.

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I have a good knock knock joke: You start it.

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Q: Why did the plain crash? A: Because the pilot was a loaf of bread. By: LV

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs hanging on the wall? Art.

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Q.why did the chicken cross the road A. To eat some Kentucky Fried Chicken get it KFC

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Laugh.

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space is fun

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why couldn't the old man play basketball? he lacked the physical dexterity, had asthma, and had no arms.

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What is big, red, and eats rocks? Big Red that eats rocks. -For Abel

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Why did the monkey follow the tree? Because it was dead.

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What do you do when the dishwasher is broken? Fix it, call a repair man, call the landlord, do the dishes by hand or don't do them at all... your options are endless.

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How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree? Get a ladder and help her down.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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