whats worse than having your bike stolen? Getting raped

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A white man walked in da hood aaand he never came back

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Q: Why didnt the irishman walk out of the bar? A: He died of severe alchoholism and had a heart attack and died istantly

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side... But he got hit by a car instead, Life is full of disappointments

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Have you ever noticed that when geese fly in a V, one side is long than the other? Do you know why that is? There are more geese on that side

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What does A duck smoke? Quack

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There were two muffins in an oven one muffin said, "Is it hot in here or is it just me?" the other muffin said, "AHHH A TALKING MUFFIN!"

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What's the same between a plum and a rabbit? They are both purple, except for the rabbit.

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Abe Lincholn had a son :) But he died |:

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Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: Doesn't matter, he's not coming

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where are you?

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You know what isn't funny? AIDS. You know what is? Brittany Spears with AIDS...

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A little boy started choking on a condom. His father came and was in a great panic. "Please don't leave me. I don't want to lose you!" he cried over and over again. Then his wife came in and said "it's alright darling, there's plenty more in the drawer". "Oh, thank God for that, I thought I lost it there!" dad replied.

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How do you determine the population of mexico? Send out a census every 4 years.

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Did you know every 46 seconds somebody commits suicide Thumbs up for pancakes!

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What do you call 200 black men jumping from a plane? Night

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How do you find the population of Mexico? You take a census count by mail and/or a door to door questionnaire.

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I have no ideas.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Penis... Okay...

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Why couldn't the pirate boy see the movie? He was blind.

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Q: I have 2 dogs. Why? A: I like dogs

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Did I tell you about the day I put PaulMckenna on a hypnotic state so he believed he put me in a trance? That was fun, everybody applauded, then he got sad when it was not him they where applauding at, funny guy, a bit of an amateur, he spends hours "priming" people in a hypnotic state, and then in his videos triggers it so it makes it seem like he does it instantly, next to Igor Ledohowsky and Richard Bandler, I might just be one of the best and youngest hypnotists alive. Speaking of which, my wife knows the complicated yet strong feelings I got for you, and feels safe around me because of the same reasons you do, and the fact that I can spot a worry and a tear before people do, especially those I love and care about. Wait I am not done, I just need to eat before I space out.

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What did the polar bear say to the penguin? Nothing. They don't live on the same continent.

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What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eyepatch? Names.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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