How long did it take for Michael to screw in the lightbulb? 37 minutes. Michael has cerebral palsy.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

How many dead babies does it take to paint a house red. Babies, especially dead ones cannot paint.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

HAHA SO ONE TIME... The man could not finish his story because he gets shot, and is mourned for years. His daughter was watching it all. She then jumped. And fell. And broke her knee. And then died. yeah

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Roses are red, violets are blue. Grass is green.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

How do you blindfold and Asian? By using a sturdy bandanna, cloth, any other object to avert ones view.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What did the police say to the black man who just shot his wife? You are under arrest

thumb_up thumb_down +31

knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? John Wayne Gacy.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Q. How do you kill a fish A. You don't have to BP already did

thumb_up thumb_down +31

So, North Korea is getting ready to nuke the US... BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A priest a rabbi and an iman are stuck in the desert. After walking for days without rescue or civilisation in sight, and rapidly running out of food and water, they decide to each pray to their respective gods for rescue, and in doing so solve the ultimate question of which religion is the true religion. They all die.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What's brown and sticky? A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A man falls into a lake but no one is around to help him, luckily the man can swim so he got out of the lake and went home feeling embarrassed

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Hey, Texas! Knock knock Texas: Who's there? Ebola

thumb_up thumb_down +29

How many cows does it take to swim on land? 4.2

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why do they censor everything on here? Because **** **** ******* *** ***** *****.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A guy walks into a bar. He puts an icepack on his head so it doesn't swell, and decides to go out for a drink. He walks into a bar and thinks to himself, "that's twice today, maybe I should just go home."

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What does an Irishman order at the bar?? A beer

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Stevie Wonder: Did you see the new piano I got from pepsi? Me: no.... Stevie Wonder: Neither did I...........

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Farts smell bad!

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Your mom is so fat that she is fat.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Your mom is so dumb, she has difficulty acquiring a job to support her family.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Do you know whats not funny black jokes that arent racist. You belendo!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What has two heads and one body Conjoined twins

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Whats funny about ISIS? Nothing, you asshole, its terrifying.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops