Q: What's long and brown? A: The unemployment line.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a ferrari? One is a sports car and the other is a baby that is not alive.

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An eyeball walks into a bar and the bartender asks him what he would like. The bartender promptly wakes up in jail because he was caught having a meth lab in his basement.

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What's invisible and smells like carrots? Rabbit farts. What's invisible and smells like rabbit farts? Carrots, if you're blind.

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What do you do with dead chemists? You carefully place their remnants in a casket, which is to be placed in a precisely dug hole. Once the casket is placed, you put a gravestone into the ground, signifying the chemists' date of birth and death.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Ask her what her name is

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Why don't they sell aspirin in the jungle? Because it is not financially viable to sell pharmaceuticals in a largely unpopulated area.

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What Happened to the man with no arms? Nothing, he continued his life with his daily routine of using his feet to accomplish his goals that day.

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What did the German say to the Jew? I'm not quite sure; I don't speak German.

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There once was a squirrel. He lost his nuts.

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What do you call a black man sitting on your couch? A house guest.

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A man walks into a bar. His friend follows him in, but the first man doesn't know he's there. They both order a beer, then a couple strong shots. The first man then notices his friend, and they exchange high-fives. The man's friend says, "Hey, how ya doin?" The first man says, "Okay, I guess, but I forgot the punchline." So the second man orders his friend the strongest drink, and the weakest. He replies, "Me too, Joe. Meeeeee, too."

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How many people does it take to kill the president? A number

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What's the difference between a Ginger and a Brick? A ginger is a living organism.

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LOL May Wong

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What is the answer to number 7 on the test? Time for you to get a watch.

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- Knock knock - Those knock jokes are getting old - Indeed. Scratch scratch - MY DOOR

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There was a man from the hood, His limericks weren't very good, So he decided to become a purveyor of monogrammed handkerchiefs and other fine linen products.

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What do you call a gay couple of kangaroos adopted baby A Joey

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A woman leaves the kitchen.

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Nothing yet CC

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he, he's blind.

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What did the over-baring Chinese couple say to there son who got an A- in math? How would I know? I can't speak Chinese.

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Why did the black man fail math? He had missed many classes due to his mother's terminal cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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