How do you get a baby out of a blender? With tortilla chips.

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Why did the tree get mad at the bush? It didn't. Bushes are inanimate objects, and so are trees.

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A Rabbi, A Priest and an Imam walk into a bar. The Imam doesn't order a drink because it is strictly against his religious beliefs.

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What do you call an indian who is underwater? A scuba diver.

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why was the boy so ugly, because he had downs

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*Ring* *Ring* Bartender : Hello? Stranger:Is Mike Hunt their? Bartender: Mike Hunt! Is Mike Hunt here?! Mike Hunt: Oh thank god! I've been anticipating this phone call for a while now! I've been stranded here for hours and my wife's been killed and the killer is still out there!

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What is a question?

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Hey, look under there! Under what?

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A really hot girl walks past 2 guys and the following conversation is produced... Guy1:damn! look at that ass! Guy2:yep I bet shit comes from that thing! When's the last time she had diarrhea?!

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A blonde walks into a bar She said, agh that hurt

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What do you call a kid with a peg leg and an eye patch? Names

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Why did the blond do so horribly on the SAT's? She was pulled outside halfway through her testing session by the school janitor who molested and murdered her in the bathroom.

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Roses are red Violets are blue In Soviet Russia They had communism

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Why did Bill yell? Because he stepped on a nail.

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A chicken cross's the road it dies when a car runs it over

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The police, we have several warrants for your arrest.

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What did the man do after he took a bite of his pie? Chew. After that? Swallow. Then? Repeat.

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What did the teacher say to the other teacher? We are both teachers

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Q: What did the hobo get for his birthday? A: Older.

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Ask me if I'm a truck. Are you a truck? You have HIV.

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Your mother is so fat that she got diabetes and later died of an unrelated illness.

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How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the door and put it in. How to you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the door, take out the elephant and put in the giraffe. Simba hosts an animal convention and all the animals attend except which? The giraffe. There is an alligator infested lake. How do you cross? Swim across. All the alligator are at the convention.

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Watch your lips.

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What did Batman say to Robin before the got into the Batmobile? - Come on Robin, get into the Batmobile.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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