Why did Patrick buy an apple? So he can eat it

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Knock knock. "Who's there?" I am deaf. "I am deaf who?" What?

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What's the difference between a black man and a large pizza? One is a popular Italian food and the other is a human being.

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Can I touch it?

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an amosh person used an electrical appliance

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*Ring* *Ring* Bartender : Hello? Stranger:Is Mike Hunt their? Bartender: Mike Hunt! Is Mike Hunt here?! Mike Hunt: Oh thank god! I've been anticipating this phone call for a while now! I've been stranded here for hours and my wife's been killed and the killer is still out there!

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Congratulations you just won a greencard to the USA! YES YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT! WELCOME TO: UNCLEAN SOUTH ARABIA. Press green thumb below = greencard. no srslsy.

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Whats gay and smells like straight girls? An envelope.

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What did the man do after he took a bite of his pie? Chew. After that? Swallow. Then? Repeat.

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Q: what is funny today A: your parents died in a horrible car accident

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a black man, spanish man, and white man all fall off a building. and as they fall, i wonder: why are you laughing?

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My phone rang. So I answered it.

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "No, thats only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

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OMG this totally works! Step 1: Hold your breath Step 2: Die

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Roses are red, Violets aren't blue, They're fucking violet, And I hate you.

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A girl asks a guy "How come you don't take me dancing anymore?" The guy said "Because we were both killed in a car accident."

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Why did the basketball player shoot the ball? Because it was being mean to him

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Why do Jews make sure their cars can stop on a dime? So if something happens unexpectedly when they are driving they have a better chance of avoiding a dangerous collision.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? It's not. Numbers are not living organisms and thus are incapable of experiencing emotion.

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OH NO, ZOMBIES!!!!!!!!!!

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Dont be mean Dyslexics are teople poo

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roses are red, violets are blue, charcoal is black, and my neighbor is too.

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Q. What's the difference between a movie star and a manikin? A. Nothing.

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whats gayer than 2 homosexuals? 3 homosexuals.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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