whats the difference between a Jew and Santa Santa's magical.

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Penis.

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How do you kill a retard? Slit his throat.

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wnba

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What did the boy do when he was cold? Got a blanket.

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In Soviet Russia ? ??? ??? ????????.

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Why did the dog bark? Who knows, dogs bark for many reasons unknown to humans.

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Why couldn't the little pirate see the movie? His dad had just died in a freak accident on the boat. He was going to the funeral that day. Life as a pirate isn't at all as it seems. Little Jimmy the pirate, had nothing. He had no family. His mother dead already, his sister and brother refusing to speak to him because he ran off to be a pirate with his father. Clearly, he had no idea what he was getting into, because his father was gone. What was he to do now? He had no one to go to. The ship mates were all either completly insane or never sober. That very night, Jimmy took the pistol off the ship captian and shot himself point blank in the head. Little Jimmy is in a better place now. With his mother and father. In a place where he cant be harmed any more. I miss you Jim <3. ~ Jack Sullivan

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What did the blonde say when she tripped down the stairs? Nothing she was unconscious and had a serious concussion.

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Samantha ate 62 cookies. Then she ate 300 more. How many did she eat after that? None she didn't for the next 6 years after developing an eating disorder.

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Why did Simon drown? Simon couldn't swim.

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How did the chicken get to the other side? He didnt, he got ran over.

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how do you make a plumber cry Kill his family

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ok so there was a black guy a white guy and an asian in a bar.so the asian guy says lets leave and they all exited the bar.

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John Hammond from 'Jurassic Park' looks like KFC's Colonel Sanders. Which is ironic, since chickens are descended from dinosaurs...

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Do you know karate, shorty? Or are those bruises from an abusive father?

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what happened to the fat lady she went on a diet and is now skinny but she cant resist mcdonalds big macs so she quickly become fat

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Why did a guy with schizophrenia does it take to walks into a bar.

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Did you hear about the elderly bank robber? Me neither.

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Dave: Say "game" ten times fast Bud: Game, game, game, game, gay ma, gay ma, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay

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your joke is so unoriginal. i had heard the joke before.

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Why did the woman cross the road? She didn't. They are no roads in the kitchen.

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A Higgs Boson walks into a church. The priest says “We don’t allow Higgs Bosons in here.” The Higgs Boson replied, “Well, without me, you can’t have mass.”

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Why don't they sell aspirin in the jungle? Because it is not financially viable to sell pharmaceuticals in a largely unpopulated area.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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