What's big and purple? Something that's big and purple

thumb_up thumb_down +58

A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

What is this a book??!!! What am I supposed to do...... READ IT?????!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Knock knock (No one is home)

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Q: why did the black man cry when he went to bed? A: he had just had a visit from the police and apparently his family had been tragically killed in a car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

What's the worst thing a 13 year old could do? Have their Bar Mitzvah in Nazi Germany.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Why did the monkey fall off his tricycle? He got hit by a fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

What happened to the guy who ate an alarm clock at 6 o'clock in the morning? He nearly died, and was diagnosed with numerous dietary problems.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Why did the boy fall in the hole? He had no eyes

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Why didn't the blonde get into college? She was killed in a car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Do you want to hear a joke? Yes? Well that's probably why you came to this site.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What did the burn victim get for Christmas? A book of matches

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why cant Hellen Keller Drive? Because shes a women.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What did the scientist say to the postman? So your a postman?

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Do you know what a deaf guy says to a blind guy? God told me you'll see your path.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What is so sad about 5 black people going over a cliff in a Cadaliac? That was my Cadaliac

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Your mama so fat, that it's starting to affect her relationship with her husband in a negative or harmful way. (CSC)

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Yourrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr soo uglyyyyyy

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What is the difference between a Ferrari and a dead hooker? One is a car and one is a human being.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

LOL. It's East vs LA and Durant

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What do you do when a guy pulls up in a van with piercings and a gay lisp, what do you do? Get in the van.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why the girl fell from the swing? cause she had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down +34

There once was a rose that was red Violets are blue Knock Know who's there? Man I gotta quit huffing glue

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops