- Anti Joke

a blind guy walks past a fish market and exlaims.. "it smells like a fish market"

there are 4 men in a bar talking about how well their sons are doing with their lives. But one man goes to the toilet. So the first man says 'my son is doing really well he is the head of a airline company and for christmas he got his bestfriend a plane.' The second man says' My son is doing really well he has his own car brand and for christmas he got his bestfriend a brand new car.' The third man says' Well my son is doing really well, He owns his own housing estate business and for christmas he bought his best friend a 250'000 sq foot mansion. The fourth man comes out of the toilet and all the three men say ' We are talking about how our sons are doing in their lives so what about yours.' The fourth man goes' well my son is gay but its not that bad because for christmas his three boyfriends got him a new plane, a new car and a 250'000 sq foot mansion.'

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

What is funny about 9/11. Nothing, it was a tragic day for the world.

Why did the black man walk into KFC? He was terribly hungry and had a reasonable amount of currency with him to purchase food for his well being.

Uh, erm, uh...I don't know.

What's meaner than taking a candy from a baby? Tossing the baby of a cliff

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 took 9 behind an alley and raped her.

Why did Suzy fall of the swing? -she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzy

What's worse than your mother dying in a car crash? Your father dying in the same crash.

What do you call a black guy flying a plane. A pilot

What do you call a bird with wings? Redundant.

whats white and sticking?... glue, you dirty bastard

What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

What is brown and sticky? Poop

What is 69? A two digit number.

Some people are like Slinkies: they get really boring after a while.

Why was Adam sad his dog got ran over? He was holding the dog.

abcdHIV this disease is killing me

A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

What was the dying Raccoons last words? I don't want to die.

What kind of parrot can't mimic human voices? One that's just had it's vocal chords illegally harvested and sold on the black market

What do you call a mexican without a lawn mower? .....unemployed

Q. How did Kit Kat candy bars get their name? A. It was chosen by manufacturer.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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