What's blue and smells like pee? Pee, I lied about the color

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why is the grass green? all the other colors in the electromagnetic spectrurm are absorbed except for green which is reflected and thats the only visable color

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Q. Where do polar bears vote? A. The North Poll

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what did the man with no legs get for Christmas? A piano

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3 blonds walk into a bar ouch

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I kicked it.

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Dumbledore: Yo mamma's so fat --- her Patronus is a cake! Voldemort: ...bitch!

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there Not Sally

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A man walks into a pole and freezes to death.

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Knock knock? Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Knock knock? Who's there? Orange. Orange WHO? Knock knock? WHO'S THERE?! Orange Williams. Sorry, I suffer from debilitating OCD.

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what are three words that are never used together in the same sentence ...... salid taste good

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Wy do boys like big butts ? Cause it goes in easy :.:

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Why did the dog's chin get all scraped up? He didn't have any front legs.

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What do you call a black man who flies planes? A pilot, what do you call him you freaking racist!?!?!?!?!?

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Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

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what a tomato would say if his friend would be hit by a car? Nothing because tomatoes can't speak

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Q: Why did the girl fall of her swing? A: She was hit by a rogue fridge. Q: Why didn't she get back up? A: She was quite badly injured.

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Women's Rights

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your mamas so fat when she puts on a belt she has to use a bomarang to get it around her.

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Why did the boy kill himself? Because he wanted to.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have schizophrenia, and don't have any friends

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A depressed gay teenager goes to his boyfriend’s house. Why and what happens? Shaun was often discriminated against for being homosexual. He always tried to be positive and a good person, but when his parents disowned him, Shaun couldn’t help but feel alone and unloved. Upset, Shaun went to his boyfriend’s house to seek comfort from his lover. Sunny, his boyfriend, immediately told Shaun that he loved him and things will get better for both of them. A year later, Shaun rebuilds his relationship with his old family and they apologize for their lack of understanding. Sunny and Shaun are very close emotionally, and wish to get married. However, they live in Texas, where marriage is outlawed. Shaun’s family agrees to help aid the couple financially in their marriage. They help Sunny and Shaun move to New York City where they had a successful gay marriage and pursued their dreams of becoming a video-game character designer/artist and a professional hop-hop dancer, respectively. They adopt their first child two months later and raise their child positively, and adopt her younger sister five months after that. The two daughters love their two dads and grow up to be a successful NASA scientist and a talented singer, respectively. Sunny and Shaun live a long, happy life together filled with love, happy, and joy. They die peacefully in their nineties.

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The fitting room is a lie. Nothing fit me at all.

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Your momma is so fat that the late, great surrealist artist Salvador Dali mistook her breasts for clocks

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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