What did the vegetarian eat for christmas? Food.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

to the one below me. YEAH RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A Christian, a Jew, and a Hindu walked into a bar - guess what happened then? Well two of them are alcoholics so they wisely changed their minds and left, then the other one got bored so he left too.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the white guy the black guy and the Asian all have in common Penises

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Religion

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do homeless people get for Christmas? Nothing, they are homeless.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's a rabbit's favourite food? No-one knows, like humans, every rabbit has it's own favourite food.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic, it's destroying his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a bunch of black people in a red car.... A jaffa

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why is evan a lil poop? cause he pooped my poop all the pooping ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q. How do you make a blonde sad? A. Tell her that her entire family died in an accident.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Jerry Rice is walking down the streets of San Francisco when all of a sudden he hears sirens coming from the next street down. He hurries down the road to see what's happening and sees a huge fire engulfing a 10 story building. And on the top floor, a lady is leaning out the window shouting to the firemen below. FIREMAN: Come on, lady, jump. We have the tarp here, we'll be able to catch you. LADY: No....I can't. My baby, my baby is up here. FIREMAN: Throw the baby down, we'll catch him. LADY: No, you'll miss. I can't leave my baby. Jerry sees this and steps forward. "Hey, I think I can help. Let me have the bullhorn." JERRY: Hey lady, I'm Jerry Rice, the wide receiver for the San Francisco 49er's. I'm the best wide receiver in the game, throw your baby down and I'll catch him, this is what I do for a living. Being a 49er fan herself, the lady recognizes Jerry and throws her baby down to him. Just as she throws it though, a huge gust of wind comes and takes the baby and starts to blow him off course. Jerry sees this and takes off after the baby. He hurdles the line closing off the area, fights through the crowd, dodges a couple of fire fighters, jumps over the car, and dives forward, just making a fingertip catch of the baby. The crowd around him goes wild and starts cheering his amazing catch. So Jerry jumps to his feet, raises his finger into the air, does a two step and then spikes the baby. If you have any dead baby jokes that are not here, I want to hear from you. Email me your dead baby jokes at skitzopathik@hotmail.com and I'll add them to this page.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

I wanted to burn some calories, so i lit a fat kid on fire

thumb_up thumb_down -7

women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Whats worse then nailing ten babies to a tree? Nailing one dead baby to ten trees.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

whats the difference between a ferrari and a pile of dead babies? i dont have a ferrari in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down -11

2 muffins are in an oven. One says to the other, "it's really hot in here!" the other replies, "WHOA. A talking muffin!"

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Thumbs this up

thumb_up thumb_down -13

what makes white men feel embarrassed and and ashamed? when they find out their girllfriend has been sleeping with a black man.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How you make a duck cry? Raping it. How you make it shut up? Killing it. Why did no one helped the duck? Because the duck has no friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Roses are red Violets are blue I need some money.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you call an Asian pilot? A pilot...

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Living through the Holocaust and finding a time machine to take you back to the beginning of it again.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A Jew returns change.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops