How do you know if elephants are watching a movie? If a Volkswagen Beetle is parked outside the movie house.

Why did the black man offer the girl flowers? It was his niece's birthday.

Aodhan, Kevin, Taggart and Caoimhin walk into a bar. They have drinks and then leave.

Why did sally fall out of the tree? Because sally was morbidly obese and uprooted the tree from underneath her subsequently causing her to splash violently on the ground. Why didn't sally get back up? Because the splash caused the earth to spin at 40000 rpm into the sun.

What did the cheerleader get for christmas? Money, because she's a stupid w hore

Whats happening when you see your TV floating at night? You are probably suffering from some sort of mental disorder which causes spontaneous hallucinations and should seek medical help before the condition worsens.

What did Tiger Woods say when his wife hit him with a golf club? "Why did you hit me with a golf club".

Knock Knock. Who's there? I left my car keys inside.

someone had sex with Justin bieber end result Justin went into labor

One day... Jack: Good morning Ben: Good morning The End.

What do you call a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench Men enjoying a day in the park

Your mama is so fat but she is also a very kind and friendly person so her weight doesn't bother me at all,

Why did the referee go to the zoo? He likes animals

Have you ever seen what Stevie Wonder looks like without his sunglasses? Neither have I.

I don't understand what's so bad about a worm in your apple. Just get the proper software to clean it up, or even better, get a PC

Why does Chuck Norris own a can named Chuck Norris? because he is self-centered due to all the attention payed to him for virtually no reason at all.

What's long, hard and full of semen? An erect penis prior to ejaculation.

I love animals . But the ASPCA soon put a stop to that .

whats the strongest muscle the man who can't talk has. definatly not his mouth

How can you tell that the Filipino presidential candidate Grace Poe is an alien? From her extra set of retractable jaws and highly acidic body fluids.

Peaches eat leaches, that is why sneaches live on beaches.

Dislike if you are a prostitute

A jew, a black, and a gay are walking together. The black points out a new house.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I am a florist.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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