What happened to your face It got hit by a bus By cheyenne

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Today i decided to burn calories, so I grabbed my lighter from the counter and put it in my pocket and proceeded to the treadmill.

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What do you do when your wife is about have a baby? Throw her off the balcony go into parking lot and reach into her mouth if you feel a leg stab her in the belly button untill her intestines are coming out and burn the body singing Elmo's world

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Myth: Everyone but redheads has a soul. Fact: No one has a soul.

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Q. Why did the lady scream when she saw her husband? A. Because he was dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

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Q: What Did Alakazam Use To Listen Gangnam Style? A: He Used Psybeam.

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Q~ What did the black man say to the priate when he pulled out a AK47? A~ "This is a gun. im going to kill you with it."

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because he was content where he was.

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Three men are walking on a beach when they find a lamp. They rub it, and a genie comes out. It tells them that they each get one wish, and to choose wisely. They each decide to discuss what to wish for with their wives. Their wives take them to a local hospital, where they receive treatment for hallucinations.

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What did the elf say to Santa I'm not making any more toys fat ass.

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Why was 7 afraid of 8? Because 8 knifed 10.

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What is black and white, and red all over? I don't know that's why I was asking.

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…What did you put in the drink that made me fart, and kill my horse?

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What do you call white people on a bench? NBA What do you call black people on a bench? RTA

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How did Helen Keller burn the side of her face? She didn't use enough sunscreen.

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What's the difference between a battered woman and a regular woman. There is absolutely no difference...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Systemic oppression.

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Its not a big mistake at all, if people do not want to get hypnotized you cant hypnotize them, or so I thought...

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went to mass. remembered to say with your spirit.

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Q: why does the man like men? A: because he is gay

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Q:how do you fit 100 jews in a car? A:2 in the front 3 in the back and the other 95 in the ashtray

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God, you know after creating humanity and kinda regretting it and stuff, fell into drinking and betting. He found Sin a fellow poker player, and all was good. Until God, drinking a bit too much bet a bit too many of his creds: Son. Jesus: Yes father. God: Uh, I kinda ended up low on cash on the poker game last night and I kinda well... I am gonna be frank here, I bet you and lost. NeroMetal Not dissing the bible, just enjoying the always brighter side of life eh? ;)

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Why didn't Sebastian get out of the forest? Because he got brutally murdered by a big bad wolf

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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