Q: What does a psychic have in common with a stone? A: The bible decrees that psychics are witches and should be stoned and something topical about the stone.

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Why should you never eat a jellyfish on a Wednesday? Because it will sting you with its poison.

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What do you call a fucking idiotic douchebag with ebola? An ebloa paitent

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? A little boy falls into the mud Wanna hear a clean joke? He takes a bath with bubbles Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is Michal Jackson.

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Why was everyone afraid of Nick Morton? Because he had AIDS

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what did the blind orphan with no legs get for christmas? cancer.

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Two muffins are baking in an oven. What does one say to the other? Nothing. They are both inanimate objects and can't speak.

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why did the black man apply for a job at kfc? His family was in debt after the loss of his father.

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Why can't a T-rex clap its hands? It's extinct.

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Bark I'm a tree

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What do you call Justin Bieber having sex with a woman? Two people of the opposite gender having sex.

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What did the mental patient say to the apple? She didn't say anything because she was a catatonic schizophrenic.

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue If it wasnt for christmas We would all be jewish.

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What's the difference between Stephani and a momma hippo? The mother hippo is slowly but surely losing weight while Stephani is packing on the pounds! :)

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how do you break up with someone lightly and not hurt their feeling I dont want to hurt your feeling but i hate you

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A black man and a Mexican man are both in a car. Who's driving? The white man who is also in the car with them.

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A lonely man walks into a Self-Esteem class. He sits alone in the back because of his low self-esteem. Forever alone.

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What do you call a fly without wings? A rather unfortunate physical disability

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DON'T READ THIS!!! you suck.

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Why was the blonde fired from the factory? Repeated absences and violation of company policy.

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Fucked up quotes: "When walking trough hell, keep going!" (I just turn back and walk the other way thank you, I mean worst case I walk trough heaven right?" "Never give up, ever ever ever ever ever..." (Ill just end it with etc because I gave up something as hard as... Typing?) "Curiosity killed the cat" (Translated: "Curiosity kills, stay inside forever" What?)

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What did the police officer say to the bank robber? You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to speak to an attorney, and to have an attorney present during any questioning. If you cannot afford a lawyer, one will be provided for you at government expense.

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wsde

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I like your words "He without an equal, also stands alone was it?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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