Son come here OK daddy Daddy what are you doing DADDY NO! DADDY NO!

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question: why did the dog whine? answer: Because it wanted the freakin bone

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why was the girl unhappy? because she was stapled to a shark.

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what is the difference between a dead baby in a bag and a dead baby hung in the yard....the dead baby hung in the yard was shot down off the cross after being rmr'd

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A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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Why did the blond woman throw a clock out the window? She was going through a bitter divorce, and didn't want her ex-husband's things in her house anymore.

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Rose are red, Violets are blue Your cat is dead Turkey

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What is blue and roles about on the floor A baby playing with a plastic sack

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What's the worse part about a Jewish man dying in a house fire? It was his birthday

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whats blue and looks like a bucket? a red bucket disguised as a blue bucket

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Whats Worse that 10 babies stapled to 1 tree? 1 Baby stapled to 10 trees

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How do you stop a black man from drowning? Take your fott off his head.

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why do woman love the twilight books? i have no idea woman can't read

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Where did the paralytic go for a vacation? No where he can't move.

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Seven monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and broke its head! Momma called the doctor, And the doctor said, "I'm sorry, Mrs.Monkey, but your son has suffered a severe concussion, and will be very mentally impaired for the rest of his life."

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I saw a sign saying Falling Rocks. But no, no it doesn't.

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roses are green violets are green i was drunk last night

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Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

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How did the newborn baby come out of a man? It was ejaculated as a sperm from his testicles

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Your mom is so fat That the salesman advised her not to buy the tight dress

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Q. How many leprechauns does it take to screw in a light bulb? A. Light bulbs don't exist

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If you spell "ChuckNorris" in scrabble, you get 22 points.

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Roses are red, Violets are glorious, Don't try to surprise Oscar Pistorius.

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What's the difference between a ginger and a brick? Bricks get laid

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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