What do you call a Pakistani flying a plane. 9/11

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A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

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Why was little Jimmy sad? Because his mum died.

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Why was the girl sad? Because she was, you idiot!

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Care to fill in some of the etc etc`s for me? Its not like we are complete strangers one to another either, you and I I mean, I feel pretty secure around you.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a smoke dectecter, You died in a fire

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Why did the Pakistani man cry when the Nigerian man was killed in a terrorist attack? They were lovers.

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Hey i just met you, and this is crazy, i have amnesia, i'm Skepta

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How do you tell when your dog is dead? I don't know. I never had a dog and my parents beat me.

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How many pancakes can you fit into a gopher hole? Red - because ice cream doesn't have any bones.

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A black man, a white man, and an Asian man walk into a bar. The black man says, "My wife died in a terrible book-keeping accident.". The white man says, "My wife died in a terrible lightbulb-sorting accident.". The Asian says, "My wife died in a terrible geography accident.". Soon after, the bar was hit by a missile, promptly killing the three men.

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Why was Jimmy so bad at jumping rope? His father's car ran over an IED back in 2009. Jimmy had lost his legs in a tragic explosion.

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what's worse than 24? 6 million.

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Jimmy can't drive the tractor. Why can't Jimmy drive the tractor? Because he's a patato

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put my cøck in your mouth. Submitted by Arsha K.

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I'm going to rewrite history. History.

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why did the black man apply for a job at kfc? His family was in debt after the loss of his father.

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Q: what's green and fluffy? A: green fluff

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what do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch names

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Roses are red, Violets aren't. This doesn't make sense. Potatoes and brown.

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How do Chinese people name their kids? They could look up a baby-names book, consult their family history, or make one up

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What do you call a cold chicken? A Raw Chicken.

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Q. why did the boy who just had his first kiss feel no emotion? A. He got hit a Croquet mallet and died

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What happened to the man taking a shit? An unfortunate drop of water splashed back onto his arse

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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