Person 1: Ask me if I'm a tree. Person 2: Are you a tree? Person 1: No.

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In soviet Russia, your dead because it doesn't exist anymore

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What did the tooth brush say to the toothe paste? Minorities.

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Fairy floss" "Fairy floss who?" "I'm sugar coating your Cancer diagnoses"

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9-11 please state your emergency. My house is flooding! Dad, youre in the swimming pool.

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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If little jimmy has five candy bars and he eats three, what does little jimmy have? Diabetes

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Q: Why did the boy fall off his bicycle? A: Because someone threw a fridge at him.

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Why couldnt the man stop dancing? He had Parkinson's.

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What makes the turtle move? It's legs.

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What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew?

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Whats funnier than a black man? A black president

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Why is six afraid of seven? Six isn't actually afraid of seven. It is true that seven devoured nine's carcass, but one has to understand that cannibalism is not a taboo in their culture. In the world of cardinal numbers, protein is precious and leaving corpses to rot is dangerously unsanitary. You should not judge them by the standards of human society. It's ignorant and offensive.

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile.

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wat does T.J.C.S. Mean? leave an comment to answer

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pretty soon we'll all be dead

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Technically rainbows are white.....and have gold at the end.

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knock knock, who's there me me who he opens the door a kills yo

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gay boys house. Knock knock! whose there? The chicken!!

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I put the STD in stud now all i need is U

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What did the man with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike

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What's green and has wheels? grass... i lied about the wheels

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Why did Sally cross the road? Because she fell off a tree. Why did Sally fall off the tree? Because Sally wanted to cross the road.

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Why couldn't the driver start his car? Because the driver was a tree

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops