An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a pub. They order drinks, then leave without speaking to each other. It was pure coincidence they walked into the bar at the same time. They had no connections to each other, them being from three different countries.

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I asked my wife to make me a sandwich. I had forgotten she was dead.

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Why did god make asians? I dont know. Yah, me niether

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you go up your hole down your hole between your hole and you rock and roll

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What can fit between breasts? Is long? And gets hard when you jerk it? A seatbelt.

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Why did Betty fall out of the tree? Because she was dead! ????

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Joker: You wanna know how I got these scars Me: The Bat... Joker: The Batman!

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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What does a white man say when you slug him in the face with a club. Ow.

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What's green and runs through the forest? - A pack of cucumbers. What's wrong with that? - Cucumbers aren't pack animals.

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Why didn't the boy get a bike for christmas? He broke the bath tub.

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Why did Jimmy go to a Barbershop for the first time? He needed a haircut, and the salon next to his house was closed because of financial problems

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Patient- Doctor! I feel like a piece of ****! Doctor- What is ****? Patient- It's four dots on the computer screen representing a curse word. Doctor- What computer screen?

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How do you make your house smell bad? fart

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which is faster a) ferrari b) beetle a ferrari

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In the movie Dark Skies, little white boys were haunted by a mysterious force. The answer is obvious, isn't it? They are being haunted by Michael Jackson's ghost.

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Roses are red violets are blue ice-cream is yummy can I eat you

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What did Hitler say to Mussolini? I don't know. I wasn't there.

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How do you make a hobo cry? You steal his trash.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? Its babies were being mauled by a cat.

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Knock Knock. Whose there? Fed-Ex, here's your new brother.

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"To tea to to to" -- russian tourist, asking for two tea to room 22. (DOKA)

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? The Pterodactyl species became extinct 65 million years ago, and thus if you saw one today, you would be immediately taken into a mental hospital.

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Why couldn't the girl go to the bathroom? Because she was obese.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops