Son : daddy ,I got punished in school today. Dad :why? Son: My teacher pointed the scale towards me saying -"At the end of this scale there is an idiot"..... I just asked "WHICH END ?.

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Robin, get in the car!

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Stephen Hawkings may know everything about the universe, but try to get him to tie his shoes.

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Why do I write Anit-jokes. Because I'm very bad at delevering good punchlines. They generally fall flat.

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went to mass. remembered to say with your spirit.

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Ron Paul for President!

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A dog walks into a bar, the dog is assisting his blind owner

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what happens when a hamster bites your arm? your arm bleeds

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What is the difference between a horse? All the legs are of same length, especially the back ones.

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Whats worse than 1 bee sting? 2 bee stings? whats worse than 2 bee stings? 3 bee stings? No! The holicost Whats worse than the holicost? What? 3 Bee stings

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find the o 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duh its up top

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Your mom is such a big whore that she sleeps with your dad.

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Do not be unreasonable now, as for the twenty five million dollars, it is the least I can do, but if we cannot agree upon acting with some reason and dignity, as refraining from insults, then no conflict will ever be solved... ...I will send you my contact information shortly, expect the money within the week, three or four days tops. Would you be interested in learning more about our order? We make good use of people such as you. With all due respect, I would not exactly lend my sister to anybody that brags about engaging into intercourse with his own sister.

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what is red, white, and spins around real fast? a baby in a washing machine

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Two tomatoes were crossing a road when one of them got hit by a truck. The other said, Carrot.

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Why did Johnny disappear? He was sucked into a vacuum toilet on an air jet.

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Q: You and a thousand other people are suddenly bursting in flames at a park, there is a big barrel of water just a few steps away from you, what do you do in order to save the people that truly matter? A: Stop drop and roll, duh!

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What do you get when you cross a shark and a squid Nothing thats impossible

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What do you call a man with no legs or arms trying to ski? Impossible.

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What's the worst part about anti jokes? They get boring after a while

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What did the dog say to its owner? well as you can see it is physically impossible for a dog to speak english or any other langueges such as french, spanish or chinese.

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What do you call a jewish womans boobs? JUBES!

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My left foot has 6 toes, my right face has 8 Q-tips -Matt

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? A teenage girl was texting and driving, didn't see it, and now it's roadkill.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops