What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? one's a scum-sucking bottom feeder, the other is a lawyer

Knock Knock Who's there? Nick Oh hi Nick come in

How do you get rid of Herpes? You can't.

Did you know that if you took all the elephants on earth and lined them up in space, that all the elephants would die???

What did one bulbasaur say to one squirtle? Well, first off, pokemon are virtual animals created solely for the enjoyment of entertaining japanese children and causing seizure episodes. This fictional creation then migrated to an american tv market, still maintaining their superficial existence while continuing to promote slavery and the use of round balls that capture your problems and propagate winning through random ball throwing. They are fake, and as they are fake, the bulbasaur said "we are fake"

What did the boy say after smoking weed for the first time? -"I don't really feel anything" and his friends explained that is sometimes the case for a first time smoker.

Why didn't Sammy Robertson make the world series catch to win the series in 1977? Because Sam, like many many discouraged teens in America, didn't follow his life long dream and later became a janitor at his hometown middle-school.

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

What did the buisness man say to the hobo? Nothing, he threw an apple at him and laughed!

Three friends were walking to school, they all looked in front of them and ran away. What did they see? A 200 ft dragon eating their school.

In soviet Russia, your dead because it doesn't exist anymore

roses are red violets are blue polar bears are white grass tends to be green

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? Go ask your mom.

How many babys does it take to paint a wall red? 7 and 24 paint brushes cause babys need do overs

Why wasn't the door a door? It was a jar.

knock knock whos there the game __i lost the game__

Why did the retarded man fail his math test? He didn't study.

How do you tell if an albino baby is black? Check his genetics.

why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple, finding two worms in your apple. Whats worse than finding two worms in your apple, the Holocaust. Whats worse than the Holocaust, finding three worms in your apple.

What's black, green, and doesn't have to take a shower? I have no idea.

Person1: wanna hear a joke? Person2: yeah Person1: ok

how many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? --probably just one, unless cerebral palsy runs in her blood, therefore her aid would assist her.

Whats bent but straight for danielle? Joseph Plummer

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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