My grandfather slipped on a banana peel. I helped him up.

Chuck Norris was so good at karate that he held the middle weight world title for 6 years and was named fighter of the year by Black Belt Magazine. He also used his talents to start a successful acting and advertising career.

Roses are red Violets are victorious 2 in a chamber Mr pistorius

what did the left eye say to the right eye? "eye" see you

Time flies an arrow. Fruit flies like banana.

I'm not racist. Racism is a crime, and crime is for black people.

What did Selena Gomez say to JB? We're breaking up cuz u smell like French fries and you look like a poop

How do you get through a locked door? Unlock it.

what did the captcha response say to the man? ofdorno which.

An Englishman, A Scotsman, a Welshman, an Australian, An American, A German, A Swede, A Kiwi, An Austrian, A Belgian, A Frenchman, A Chinese Guy, An Indian, A Turk, A Czech, A Canadaian, A Russian, A serbian, A Portuguese, A brazilian, An Argentine and a South African go in to a bar. The Security stops them and says "I'm sorry i can't let you in without a thai"

Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A: Depends on how hard you throw them.

Why did sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by an 18 wheeler Knock knock Whos there not sally

what did the blond say to his mother?? Nothing. He is deaf and has to use sign language.

Damn kids and their evasive tactics.

You can teach a man to fish but you cant teach a fish to man

BRANDON LUI ROCKSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

…What did you put in the drink that made me fart, and kill my horse?

what did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas Cancer

In the North people say "once upon a time." What do people in the South say? "Y'all never gonna believe dis shit!"

Why did the boy chuck a fridge at the other boy? Because he broke his toy train.

How many pianos does it take to change a lightbulb? Two. One to change the lightbulb, and one to play a motivational tune.

What's the difference between 31 dead hookers and a Lamborghini? One is a traumatizing tragedy that left at least 31 poor families mourning for their loved ones, whom were only trying to make a living in what is a terrible economy and were unable find a better job, and the other is an overpriced sports car.

Why did a black man put his hands on a white man? They were hugging.

How long does it take a person to steal a television? Many variables could determine said ability to successfully steal a television. Such variables depend on sub-variables such as weight of the television, whether the television is a store, an upper-class citizen's home, or in a "ghetto" apartment. A main variable could be the race of the thief in question. African Americans are scientifically more likely to steal a television faster compared to a Caucasian. Yet a downside to being an African American is the fact that they are more likely to be called in for questioning or arrested on the spot at their broken down home. Caucasians are less likely to be questioned and if caught will most likely obtain the proper amount of bribery money in which to pay off the police.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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