Q: What's worse than biting into and apple and finding a worm? A: being severely malnourished, thus physically inept to do most simple tasks

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Whats the difference between Osama and Obama? The S is replaced with a B.

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What did the businessman do to get a promotion? He traded oral sex for his male bosses kind heart...

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What does an elephant and a grape have in common? One of them is purple.

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What's the difference between a snake, and a lawyer? A snake cannot comprehend law, nor can one attend law school and set up an office. They are also different species.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You would too if your name was Gnrwhaf

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Hey, you know what would be funny? A joke.

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PLEASE HELP IM TRAPPED IN SOME GUYS HOUSE PLEASE SOMEBODY HAS TO SEE THIS IF I TEXT HE WILL SEE IT IM AT

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why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead. why;d the banana fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the monkey.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it died. Q: Why did the dog fall out of the tree? A: Because it was tied to the monkey.

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Have you heard the one about the blonde and the bear? No. Me neither.

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Your mother's so ugly she has low self-esteem

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I just had major Deja Vu... Cool, Brett. No one cares.

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Why didn't little Billy cross the road? He was dead.

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What's green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A pool table

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why'd Carly fall off the swing? She got hit by a bus

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John walked up to his dad one morning and shouted, "Dad, it's my birthday!" Dad said, "Cool, how old are you?" John says, "I'm seven!" Dad tells him to go downstairs and tell his grandpa. Johnny runs down and says, "Grandpa, it's my birthday, guess how old I am!" Grandpa sticks his? hand in John's pants and sticks his thumb into his anus. As he pulls his hand out, he pinches his penis. Grandpa says, "You're seven." John says, "How did you know?" Grandpa says, "I heard you tell your dad upstairs."

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Yo mama so short she often has to ask you to retrieve items from the top shelf of her cabinet.

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education (and quite possibly from acquaintances or family members within the company that employs him, though it is often considered impolite to mention this latter fact, as it may be construed to denigrate the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study).

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Roses are red, Potatoes are yellow, ERMAHHHGERDDD PERRDERRRDERRR

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(To the pretty girl at the bar) "Was your father a thief? Because I really would like to have sexual intercourse with you."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, nor does the chicken because it's a chicken.

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What is Rebecca Blacks favorite resurant? T.G.I Fridays...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops