How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends on how hard you throw them.

Why wasn't the tractor moving? Because the farmer was killed in a drive-by shooting.

A man says hello to his best friend in the morning like he always does. Why did his best friend not reply? The mans best friend is not real and is actually a figment of the mans imagination because he has been suffering from a severe case of schizophrenia his whole life and has many imaginary friends.

What did the lawyer say to a lawyer? We're both lawyers.

Why did santa cross the road? He didn't he is not real.

Roses are brown Violets are brown Who pooped in my garden?

A black man, a jewish man and a white man walk into a bar. The black man shoots the bartender, the white man takes the money and the jewish man holds the customers hostage.

Ask me if I'm a tree I don't need to, because I know you're not a tree

Why'd the girl drop her lollipop? She got hit by a bus.

Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? No, but considering there has not been a single man to walk on the moon since 1972, it'd be difficult to generate any kind of revenue on this natural satellite.

What did the strawberry say to the strawberry? Nothing because strawberries are fruit and can't talk

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse answers, "Because I'm an alcoholic."

Why did the chiken cross the road? idk, i can't talk to chikens

A. What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew: B. Pizza's don't scream when you put them into a oven.

what did the handicap, gimp kid get on his test? I cant tell you.

Those who can't teach... Aren't teachers.

what is big and can make things come out? a gun

Q: What said the first bagel to the other? A: Nothing! Bagels can't talk!

What's worse than a work in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Seeing the same joke repeated thousands of times on anti-joke.com.

Why didn't the policeman stop the bank robbery? He wasn't there

You know what happened when I kissed a girl? I enjoyed it so immensely that I received an erection.

FUS RO DAH!!!

Knock Knock. Who's there? Jason. Jason who? The person who is answering the door hears a chainsaw start up and suddenly realizes that Jason is the murderer from Friday the Thirteenth. The person goes and gets their shotgun, ready to blast Jason's head of when he breaks in.

Roses are red, violets are blue. i have Alzheimer's, cheese on toast.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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