Why did Lil' Susie leave her blue rain boots at home? Because she had stumps for legs. To attempt to wear them would only hurt her emotionally.

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What is better than a 50-inch wide plasma flat screen TV? A 51-inch wide plasma flat screen TV.

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Why did the dog have no legs? Because its previous owner had cut them off.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens have 2 legs

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What is the difference between a pillow and a rock The rock could hert you.

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why should not women able to vote? because their stupid and should not vote at all

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What do you give a homeless person? Poop in a bottle.

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people magazine

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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What's the difference between a portuguese widow and a llama? One is a portuguese widow and the other isn't.

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why dose micheal jackson like 29 year olds Because there is 20 of them

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HELP!!! I locked myself in my bathroom and can't get out! my laptop is running out of batteries!

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Did you hear the one about the avalanche that crashed into the bar? It was such a tragedy.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Betty. Answer the door!

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A raptor and a Tyrannosaurus Rex walk into a bar. Everyone runs for their lives as the dinosaurs ate everyone who was too slow.

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Roses are read, Violets are blue, I have aids, now so do you

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why was the man denied his teaching job? because he is a wanted cerial killer in 43 states.

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Q: what did Katy Perry say when someone told her that she was adaopted? A: That's not true, my parents took pictures of me in the hospital just minutes after I was born.

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a man walks into a house. he gets shot in the leg and is brought to jail because he was a burglar and was trying to steal the family's tv.

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Knock-Knock Whos there? You You who? Yoohoo! is anybody home?!! Well obviously or i wouldn't have talked to you. Idiots these days!

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what has 2 legs and bleeds? Half a dog.

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how many babies does it take to paint a house depends on how hard you throw em

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why did the plane crash?.............the pilot was a tomato

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What did the dinosaur say to the other dinosaur? We are both dinosaurs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops