2 people lived next door to each other. The man said "hi" and so did the other man. What is wrong with this situation. Nothing, just friendly neighbors.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

T u r n i p s

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What's beneath Chuck Norris's beard? A chin I presume, as that is what most humans have under their beards. Chuck Norris is a human and therefore is likely to have a chin. This is all based on the assumption that he is a human, because of the many characteristics he has shown that are humanlike.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the man smoke pot in the roller coaster? Because he was dyslexic and read the sign wrong and thought it read "You must be high to go on this ride."

thumb_up thumb_down -26

There once was an old man. He had worked hard his whole life to make sure his children got everything they needed, and that they were always happy. He had a beautiul life and a great big house with a marvelous view of the ocean. In time his kids moved away, and his wife died. The old man was left all by himself in the great big house, and sometimes the emptiness of the house reminded him of the emptiness of his own heart. He very seldom cried though, and kept all of his emotions inside. One day it all became to much for him and he took his own life in the silence of his great big empty house. I was that ocean.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Two guys walk into a bar, a spanish guy and a black guy. They get some drinks, call a taxi to arrive home safe. And kiss their wives and kids goodnight. They go to bed early after reading a wallstreet journal. And wake up early so they can both go to their jobs as college professors. To white kids.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

fuck you you punkass piece of shit I hope you burn in my uncle's titties and ass rape yourself while screaming "make it stop!'. Then, I hope that you take a titanic needle and shove it up your lower kidney until it tears open and all your bodily fluids spill out into an ocean of shit. Also, I have 73 balls with a ballsack for each ball. So, I have 73 ballsacks.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What do you call a group of black men stampeding down a hill? Dangerous, so they should slow down!

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did Steven Hawking get for Christmas? ------ ------ ------ A bike.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I wont serve you." The black man says, "Why? Is it because of the color of my skin?" The bartender says, "No, didn't you read the sign on the front door? It says, "People with suits on will not be served." So the black man took off his suit and was kindly served.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What's worse than rain on your birthday? Dying

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the man cross the road? He was in a state of depression and chose to commit suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

How does a yeti say hi? Raaawwwrrrr

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

I slept through the Dark Knight movie....turns out I was pretty tired.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did the father say to his son? ....nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did Mr. Cannon dies Because he got shot as an undercover cop in south america

thumb_up thumb_down -26

yo mama has one big titty and one small titty and the call the bitch paul

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A jewish man walks into a bar has a drink then walks out of the bar ...

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Man: Excuse me sir, is this where I turn in my library book? Farmer: You must be really lost, this is a farm.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

How do you scare a little boy? You tell him everyone he loves was shot to death by you and then kick his guardian .

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did the Jew say to the German? Yes I would like fries with that.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

your mother is so fat that she bought a treadmill and uses it daily. she already lost 20 lbs.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

An early Jewish man walks into a bar where a number of stormtroopers have gathered for drinks and is taken into custody and then transported by railcar to a camp where he and other persecuted minorities are deliberately imprisoned in a relatively small space with inadequate facilities where they await their eventual mass execution.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops