how many weasels does it take to change a lightbulb 0 weasels are animals and therefore are not capable of changing lightbulbs

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Why cant Helen Keller drive a bus? Cuz she's dead!

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Why did Jimy fell down the stairs, because he was adopted.

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what do u say to a man walking down the street nothing, u shouldnt talk to strangers

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I was on the other side. And I'm a chick magnet

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What should you do if you have a 10 inch penis? Subtly tell the world via an anti-joke

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whats the diffrences between black people and a tire nothin

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

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How do I want to die? From Chuck Norris killing me, that would be an honor.

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How do you fit 500 babies into a phone booth? With a blender. How do you get them out? Nachos (make a dipping and snacking motion).

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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"Knock Knock" "Whose there?" Someone who needs to consider not saying "Knock Knock" every time they are about to enter a building.

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Q. Why did the woman cross the road? A. She didn't. She's still in the kitchen because I beat her if she's not cooking or cleaning.

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What do you call potato salad in Iceland? Edible. The fact that it happens to be in Iceland doesn't make a difference

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=3

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whats better than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees whats better than 1 baby nailed to 10 trees? 10 trees nailed to 1 baby

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Customer Service "May I help you?" "Yes."

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What's small and doesn't turn girls on? A bottlecap.

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Q: What do you call a barn full of black people? A: Antique farm equipment.

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How do you kill somebody? A: I don't know, I'm not a murderer.

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What do you call a man who has a camera? a cameraman

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Have you ever heard of a goose?

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Whats sad about 6 mexicans driving off a cliff in an escalade? An escalade sits 7 people.

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A man goes into a bar. He leaves drunk and beats his wife to death and burns the house and kids.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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