Whats long and hard? a baseball bat

What`s the difference between a dead baby and a pencil? I don`t keep a pencil in my backpack

How come Susie fell off of the swing? -because I hit her with an axe Coolhsoj

What's worse than taking a final? Getting shot in the face.

A Black guy and a Jewish guy walk into a bar. What does the black guy say to the Jew? "Hi".

What's brown and ryhmes with snoop? Dr. Dre

If a tree falls on a deaf person, does anyone care?

scenario: two teddy bears wrestling under water question: how many apples does it take to tussel with a potato answer: 96 becouse pillows dont eat chease

Q:What happened to the fat man that rode a roller coaster? A:He had fun

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Playing hide and seek with Dennis Ferguson

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock Knock "Who's there?" Not Sally!

Maybe we simply need to keep the door open, but one cannot bring happiness to others, until one is happy oneself. Do I change something within you Red?

why do some people of all races enjoy American foods? Because they can be extreamly delishus and satisfying to eat. Why dont some people of all races enjoy American foods? Because then we would all be too big to fit on earth.

Your mother is so fat; I love fat fat people.

Coach walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says, i can't serve you. You aren't wearing pants. Coach says "put it on my bill."

Why does everyone treat Jesus as some sort of saint for making five thousand people bread, when Hitler made six million people toast?

why did Susie fall of the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who`s there? not Susie

A black man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him to leave.

So a blond, a brunette, a ninja, a pirate, a priest, a rabbi, a mathematician and an engineer all walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "What, is this some kind of joke?"

What's the one thing America's got but the UK hasn't... School shootings

A dog walks into a club. Just kidding I hit the dog with a club multiple times, killed it, and went to jail for the murder of an innocent animal.

A duck walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender doesn't understand him because he doesn't speak duck and promptly calls animal control to have the duck removed.

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer caught it.

What do a software designer, a civil engineer, an airline pilot, and a long-distance swimmer's support team have in common? All of them use angles and trigonometric ratios to help solve problems.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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