why did the bear fall out of the tree? He died. Why did the raccoon fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the bear.

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What do you get if you cross an Irishman with a Brazilian Aristocrat? I don't know.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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have you ever seen an elephant hiding behind a flower? No? well it must have been hiding pretty well.

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My neighbours found out this morning that I'm a serial killer. Knock knock [L]

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: No one knows, he was a chicken, and was not capable of human speech, so he never told anyone.

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A doctor tells a guy: "I have bad news. You have Alzheimer's, and you have cancer." Guy says, "Thank God I don't have cancer."

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What's the similarities between a spoon and a duck. Both are not a lamp

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Q: What did the Catholic man say in response to the gay man asking what he likes to do? A: golf

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Why did the black man buy fried chicken? Because it wasn't free.

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why couldnt luke open the door? he had no arms

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So I went to an audition, my friend said "break a leg" And then I did

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What do Richard and Judy have in common? Nothing.

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Why didn't the policeman stop the bank robbery? He wasn't there

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What's green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree, it'll kill you? A pool table.

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A. Big feet, you know what that means B. He has to order his shoes on line because they don't carry his size in stores.

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whats better than 1,000,000 dollars? 1,000,001 dollars

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knok knok whos there know one cares your gay

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What did Sam Houston Say to Jim Bowie when he say all the Mexicans coming Towards the Alamo? That's a lot of Mexicans.

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A man says hello to his best friend in the morning like he always does. Why did his best friend not reply? The mans best friend is not real and is actually a figment of the mans imagination because he has been suffering from a severe case of schizophrenia his whole life and has many imaginary friends.

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Why did the boy fall down the stairs? Because he tripped.

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What's the difference between Santa Claus and Tiger Woods? Santa Claus is a fictional old man who flies around delivering gifts, while Tiger Woods is a professional golfer.

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(waving left hand) Why doesn't Queen Elizabeth wave with this hand? Why? Because this is my hand.

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Whats worse than pulling down a girls pants and seeing a giant furry bush... finding out her vagina has teeth in it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops