Why was the plumber sad? Because his whole family died in a plane crash.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

whats red and bad for your teeth? a brick.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why does an ostrich have such a long neck? Because its head is so far from its body.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Here's a riddle... A cowboy rides into town on saturday, stays for three days, and leaves on saturday... How does he do it? Well, you see he is a time bending magician who usually lives on a farm on Mars with his family of magicians. He is not really a cowboy but dresses like one to be like everyone else. He is heavily affected by peer pressure and has done a lot of dumb things just to impress his partners. His partners are big bullies and they have trouble being nice to Jimmy (The time-bending, space-living, cowboy-impersonating martian). His partners names are Bob and George. Oh right... I'm trailing off... Well, you see he is a time bending magician who usually lives on a farm on Mars with his family of magicians. He is not really a cowboy but dresses like one to be like everyone else. He is heavily affected by peer pressure and has done a lot of dumb things just to impress his partners. His partners are big bullies and they have trouble being nice to Jimmy (The time-bending, space-living, cowboy-impersonating martian). His partners names are Bob and George. Oh right... I'm trailing off... Well, you see he is a time bending magician who usually lives on a farm on Mars with his family of magicians. He is not really a cowboy but dresses like one to be like everyone else. He is heavily affected by peer pressure and has done a lot of dumb things just to impress his partners. His partners are big bullies and they have trouble being nice to Jimmy (The time-bending, space-living, cowboy-impersonating martian). His partners names are Bob and George. Oh right... I'm trailing off... OH... I'M DONE NOW...

thumb_up thumb_down -31

How many electricians does it take to screw on a light bulb? 1

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What's the difference between your momma and a bucket of shit? Well, for starters your mother and a bucket of shit aren't even made of the same physical structure, and secondly, your mother is sentient while a bucket is not.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Knock Knock whos there? a black man ohh ok come in

thumb_up thumb_down -31

yo momma so fat, it appears she has two chins

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Do they censor Ass? TESTING TESTING ASS ASS ASS

thumb_up thumb_down -31

DINOSAUR Street Fighter 4: Masterchief edition LOUND ONE! BAKE! And the final results: Sagat: Heh, you want some... cornflakes? *BOOO! YOU THUG!" Ryu: WHOWANTSSOMEPOUNDCAKE! *Delicious poundcake omg" "Well, at least better than serving a fucking bowl of foocking cornflakes with milk in four goddamn hours!" YOU LOSE! "You must defeat my Poundcake to stand a chance, I am the worlds greatest pillow fighter!" GAME OVER

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What happens when an antijoke and a joke comes together? Unicorns mate with Neil Patrick Harris

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why didn't junior say thank you for his christmas present from his dad? He was raised by two moms

thumb_up thumb_down -31

How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What did the white man say to the black man at midnight? It's really dark out.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Q:What happens when a bug walks into a bar A:It gets stepped on

thumb_up thumb_down -31

How did the little boy die? Malaria Why? He was poor. Why? A Jew stole his money.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Q: How many Jews can fit in a car? A: 5 in a standard mid sized sedan, or 7 in an SUV

thumb_up thumb_down -31

why is ginger kid so sad? Because his all family was killed

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What did the Watermelon say to its baby? I'll SEED you later!

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Here is a nursery rhyme: Jane is a scruff, she has a head full of nits. She also had pain in her great big... Now don't get excited. Don't be mislead. Because all that Jane had was a pain in her head!

thumb_up thumb_down -33

So a magician was droving down the road and then he turned into a driveway!

thumb_up thumb_down -33

roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why did the chicken fall down? Because it wanted to have fun

thumb_up thumb_down -33

A woman was struck and killed by a truck as she crossed the road. Who's fault is it? The woman's, if she hadn't left the kitchen, she would still be making me sandwitches...

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops