Why couldn't my grandpa use a cell phone? He didn't have hands.

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knock knock who's there? Jehovah's witness GOOD BYE!

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An over weight person is diagnosed with anorexia they used to be fatter

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Two monkeys are sitting in a tree. One monkey looks to the other monkey and says, "I bet I can jump from this tree to the next tree without falling." The other monkey replies, "I'm sure you could. You're a monkey."

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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D/M/Y ~~ Take 21/12/2012 Flip it upside down Take the 2's out from both ends (1/12/201) Take out all the ones and two's (//0) Take your zero and turn it 90 degrees to the right Take out the forward slashes What you are left with, a potato.

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why are there so many homeless asians with squinty eyes, they cant find their way back home

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How can you tell if your blind date is going to be good looking? Go on the date and see if they're good looking.

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Did you hear about that man who ate 17 cheeseburgers?! I didn't.

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Why did the balck man sit at the back of the bus? Because all the other seats were taken.

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Last words of a redneck - "Hold my beer and watch this"

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you know its foggy outside when you step outside and its foggy outside.

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A horse walks into a bar gets shot then carried away in a helicopter

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

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YO MAMA'S SO , A STUPID, THAT SHE PUT 2 QUARTERS IN HER EARS AND THOUGHT THAT SHE WAS LISTENING TO FIFTY-CENT!!!

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Hey I just met you and this is crazy this song doesn't rhyme penis

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Justin Bieber.

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How do you like them apples I dont like aplles

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Knock knock Who's there? The Gestapo. Get in the van.

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A man walks into a bar. He then says "ow".

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Why did little tommy fall in the well. Because he grew tired of his life of brutal Beatings and starvation, so he jumped.

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Just want to know where I will be dipping my... MANFLESH!

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A Jew and a Neo-Nazi meet in a bar. They put aside their differences and enjoy a few rounds of drinks.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, i get tired of this shit let's have some grey goose

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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