Roses are red Violets are blue I love you a lot But you're dead and I have unhealthy necrophiliac tendencies

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Why did the Elf stab the Gnome? Because I was on a bad acid trip.

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What makes the turtle move? It's legs.

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Mike: Johnny pass me the sauce Johnny: I can't pass you the sauce Mike: Johnny pass me the sauce Johnny: I can't pass you the sauce Johnny could pass Mike the sauce as he has no arms and Mike kept on asking as he has short onset alzheimer's.

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What do a baby and a slinky have in common? They both bring a smile to your face when you push then down a flight of stairs.

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What happens when you put a baby in the microwave? I don't know, cause I was to busy jerking off.

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Why did the blond cross the road? She needed to get to the shop as she'd run out of milk.

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please thumbs this up to help rhinos with boners thank you

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The First National Tree Bank just closed down. Don't worry it started a brand new branch.

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One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMMBBBWWAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

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What happened to Jillian when she walked out the door? She got hit by a bus A. Knock knock B. Whos there? A. Not Jillian

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What do you call a black man driving a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

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Did you hear the one about the dead guy? Apparently he was no longer living.

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Two fish in a tank one said "How do you drive this thing?"

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A black man and a Mexican man are in the back of a car. Who's driving? Not enough information to answer this question.

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whats the difference between kroush and a bucket of shit? the bucket

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Why did the Salesman leave the leper colony? He had to wish his daughter a happy birthday.

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Why did nobody bother to help the old lady cross the road? Because her actions in recent years had given rise to considerable division and ill-feeling within the community.

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Why did the man cut his hair? Cause he has cancer

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why is the earth mad at the moon? cause the moon mooned the earth

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why was the witch in the broom factory? she was recently employed there and is loving her job maing brooms

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can you pass the soap?

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I'm going to live to be 300 years old or die trying!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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