Call of Duty Infinite Warfare

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Why do people make fun of Laquesha? Because she's white.

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I am green. You are blue. Jokes are infinite. This is too.

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Why did the policeman who's third wife just lost 20 pounds go to sleep? He was tired.

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Why did Justin Bieber jump out of the airplane? He didn't, i pushed him

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You read this in school as the kid sitting next to you stares at his computer screen.

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How do I become successful like you dad? Just do good.

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What do you call a black woman that's blind and has 1 leg? Handicapped

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whats better than 1,000,000 dollars? 1,000,001 dollars

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What'd the left nut say to the right nut? How's it hangin?

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Dear paranoid people who check behind their shower curtains for murderers, If you do find one, what`s your plan?

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A man begged for forgiveness, for a sin commited Jesus forgave him, Jesus loves you

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What's better than winning a gold medal in the Paralympics ? Not being disabled

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A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. There is a frog in his beer.

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what happened to the fish that got washed ashore? it died due to lack of water-borne air particles.

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Why did the chicken not make it across the road? Because he got hit by a transport.

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Roses are red, Potatoes are yellow, ERMAHHHGERDDD PERRDERRRDERRR

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Patrick, I just thought of something funnier than 24. Lemme hear it. 25.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Why do the following sentences never have anything to do with the roses and violets?

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A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

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What did the Amazonian tribesman say to the European explorer? Nothing, he was focussing on eating him.

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John walked up to his dad one morning and shouted, "Dad, it's my birthday!" Dad said, "Cool, how old are you?" John says, "I'm seven!" Dad tells him to go downstairs and tell his grandpa. Johnny runs down and says, "Grandpa, it's my birthday, guess how old I am!" Grandpa sticks his? hand in John's pants and sticks his thumb into his anus. As he pulls his hand out, he pinches his penis. Grandpa says, "You're seven." John says, "How did you know?" Grandpa says, "I heard you tell your dad upstairs."

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Why did Kristi drop her chap-stick? Kristi was of the many children held in hostage of the Jewish heritage during the times of Hitler's wrath. At the Concentration camps they were not given the opportunity to maintain a healthy, average diet thus decreasing her body strength. No longer could Kristi hold her chap-stick - alas her frail little fingers slowly released the cylinder shaped tube and hopelessly watched it hit the ground. As it hit the ground, a cloud of dust swept over Kristi's body. At the same time Kristi was taking a big whiff of fresh air (just kidding, the air at concentration camps were not fresh - it reeked of acid) she accidentally inhaled the dirt which fled through her body and made her faint. She woke up and it was a dream, lol.

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Why did the shark eat the girl? Because she was ugly

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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