What did the prisoner get for Christmas? A lethal injection.

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the other day i was walking down the street and saw a black man carrying a tv. i thought to myself, "hey that looks like mine!" but then i was like nawwwwwww, mine's at home...... shining my shoes -_-

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Poop

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What's the difference between Santa and a Jew? Santa goes DOWN the chimney.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead! Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was attatched to the monkey! Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? .....................peer pressure

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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When life gives you lemons, go sell them for crack.

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knock knock? come in

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what did the homeless kid get for christmas? nothing he probably doesn't know what christmas is

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"Knock knock." "Come in."

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Llega San Pedro le dice a dios y se va.

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two flowers in a meddow recently bloomed a cow came over and ate them, and the cow died of herpes the next day

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What do you call a black man in the south? An example of diverse America

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I asked a girl on a date. She said no.

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What's harder to pick up, a football or an anvil? It doesn't matter when you lost your fingers in 'nam.

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Yo mamma is so dumb, she bought a Wii and was satisfied with her purchase

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I love telling anti jokes rather than jokes because I was born with a rare case of ebola and suffer from alcoholicationism

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Whats red and crawls up your leg? A homesick abortion.

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DO U KNOW ABOUT THE BIRD BIRD BIRD, BIRD IS THE WORD? DON'T U KNOW ABOUT THE BIRD? EVERYOBODY KNOWS THAT THE BIRD IS THE WORD! Oh, no i did not know that the bird was the word.

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What body part do you shave other than your balls? My fridge.

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Bob: Do you know the difference between beer and women? John: No Bob: Oh

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Two peanuts were walking down the street..........pepper.

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What's worse then failing a test. Being raped by a horse

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Why did the dog die? He was old

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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