I'm black and I will beat your children At checkers, they can have red

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What is the difference between Barack Obama and Simba from the Lion King? One is a cartoon character from a beloved Disney classic and the other is the current President of the United States of America.

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What's the difference between and orange? The horse wasn't wearing a saddle.

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What's worse than someone posting a number on antijoke ? Someone posting about what's worse than the holocaust

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A young boy is concerned about the well- being of his father, due to the fact he may have cancer. Turns out, he doesn't. So they got ice cream.

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Your momma's so fat that she should really be concerned for her health and seek professional help to manage her weight.

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A man found out that he had hit the lottery and would be receiving 300 million dollars, but he had to fly to china to do so. The man took a plane to China from New York and would arrive within the next several hours. Meanwhile, in australia a god-cow was producing infinitely large amounts of concentrated milk. His milk was so infinitely large in mass that it collapsed on its own mass and turned into black hole; absorbing the entire Earth. The man never got to receive his money from winning the lottery

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Why didn't Michael Jackson celebrate his birthday? He's dead.

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What do you call a skeleton in your closet? Evidence of a brutal crime. You should probably call the cops.

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who do you call when you see a ghost in your apartment? The Mental Hospital.

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You know, people are kind of like trees, they tend to fall over when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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roses are red violets are blue i've got alzheimer's ...

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What came in like a wrecking ball? A wrecking ball.

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Q: Why didn't the blonde answer the call from her boyfriend? A: She had died in a rollover the day before.

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Steve asks Dave if he likes fish sticks. Dave says yes. Steve asks Dave if he likes to put fish sticks in his mouth. Dave says yes again. They both agree to buy some, prepare them, and eat them, as fish stick are tasty, convenient, and mildly nutritious.

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Your mum's so fat that she's incredibly lucky she has a loving and supportive husband who values her personality over her appearance.

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Roses are red, violets are red. Aaaaaahh! My garden's on fire!

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What do you do if a goose comes flying towards you? Duck.

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How did the chef bake 20 muffins for the king? My name is Bob.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Your dog pooped on my lawn Now my violets are even more blue

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Hey, in case you are around and still wonder how he got out. Anonymous tip from yours truly, if he had remained there, you would all have taken the blame. Just stay away from the deep web, and I wont be forced to come get all of you as well. For a long while I was suspicious that you might have been leaking information regarding me and all of us, but then the rules changed and information regarding Point Zero, subtle hints and such, began spreading, it has been removed, nobody will know what Intel was sold, so yeah, he was a mole, he is no more, for this I am sorry.

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Why can't Heller Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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A woman walks into a bar She is raped.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Physics. Why did Tommy fall of his bike? He was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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