Think about this. I am lying to you right now.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Walk in to a room and sing "if you're deaf and you know it, clap your hands!"

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How do you kill a blonde? You shoot her.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Roses are red Violets are blue I have to go to the bathroom...

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's longer - 'an african american phallus' or 'a micronesian sphincter'? 'An african american phallus has' 24 letters as opposed to 'a micronesian sphincter' at 21 letters, so it is longer.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first muffin turns to the second and says "it sure is getting hot in here!". The second muffin looks over and responds "this makes no sense - we shouldn't be capable of speech, let alone self-awareness." "We probably should try to get out of here, though."

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what did the kid say when the bully took his ice cream nothing the bully punched him in the face first.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

whats worse than a 6 dead babies in a dumpster? You were babysitting them.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

how do you get mhairi mcdonald to shut up? rip out her throat.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Your momma is so fat that she is a plus size model and gets paid very well for modeling. Good for her.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the armless girl fell off the swing? Because somebody pushed her. Why did se fell again? Because somebody pushed her again.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Oh my god, I'm on fire! Help me, help me, oh God it's everywhere!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Yo mama so fat, when she went to a party, they took the apple from the roast pig's mouth, and they put it on her mouth.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

what do you call a mothers mothers father's brother's son's uncle's sister's brother's aunt's father's stepbrother's granddaughter's mom? I dont know... im asking you, why are you reading the answers then?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

"Hey look, mommy! I'm a whale!" (child proceeds to pull a shotgun and create a blowhole in his head)

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Your mama is so fat... she really should go on a diet.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you call a black man in an expensive car? A licensed driver.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

what's black, white, and red all over? any red object

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How many stripes does a Zebra have? Doesn't matter millions of people died in the Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -61

A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and a mop.

thumb_up thumb_down -61

Knock, Knock Open the fucking Door

thumb_up thumb_down -77

what did Tyrone get for Christmas he got shot by isis

thumb_up thumb_down -139

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding cancer on your back

thumb_up thumb_down +58

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops