A baby seal walks into a club...

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Q. What did the man with no heart say? A. Nothing. No living creature can live without a heart.

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What did the abortion clinic serve at the cafeteria? Fetus soup

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A Jewish man joins the German Army. He serves with distinction during the First World War, receives several commendations for bravery, and is one of the 12 million people killed during the Holocaust.

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What is green and sticky and oozes up a kid's upper lip? A homesick booger.

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What's long brown and sticky? S**t

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What did the Hindenburg say? -nothing it just blew up

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why did the chicken cross the road? why should a chickens motives be questioned

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How did the old man climb the hill? He didn't.

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Hey hey what did the bald man say to brian moccia? lOL!

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Why did the blond jump off the cliff? She was paragliding for her 20th birthday.

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Knock knock whos there? me oh, cool... well come in.

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What's the difference between a duck? I'm sorry, I was typing too quickly and missed off the end of my sentence. I meant to say "What's the difference between a duck and a goose?" and the answer is that they are entirely different species of waterfowl.

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robin has a boy friend its the green lantern

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How do you occupy a blonde for a day ? You put her in a round room and tell her to sit in a corner. ... That or you strap a bomb to her, give her a list of twelve billion things to do, and tell her the bomb will explode if she doesn't do everything on the list.

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RATE THIS JOKE THUMBS UP FOR TEN COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES RATE THIS JOKE THUMBS UP FOR TEN COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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Q: what do you call someone on Anti Jokes A: Someone with no friends trying to find a funny joke to make friends.

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Your mother is so stupid that it would be politically incorrect and socially unacceptable to make asinine, derogatory comments about her challenges.

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I like boys!!!!! CC

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why was the boy in his closet? He is hiding because his father beats him because he is gay.

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How do you kill a blonde? well there are several way's in which to kill another human being, infact, the point that she is blonde is rather irrelevant.

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what happened to the boy who asked for a hit from the bong? he got punched in the face.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because not only was she deaf and dumb, but she was also blind and it's not possible to drive if you are blind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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