Hey, you have small hands.

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Scenario: 2 people are in a desert. There is only 1 bottle of water left to drink. Who drinks it? Neither of them, they drink the gallon bottle of gatorade instead.

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Why do you always find a dead baby in the last place you look? Because once you've found it, you stop looking.

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what did liam weir ask ethan. how much charge do you have

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Look at your hand. Made you look!

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An Antihumorous Story Part One A rich man named Richard told his son James that he could have anything in the world for his thirteenth birthday. James only asked for one thing: a silver box containing 542pink ping pong balls. So Richard gave him a metal box containing 542 pink ping pong balls. Five years later, Richard heard a strange noise coming from James' room. It was the sound of a machine whirring, then a high pitched scream. All of a sudden, James bursted out of his room and ran out of the house. Later, the boy could not recall the incident. It was completely erased from his memory. For his eighteenth birthday, James asked for a golden box containing 785 pink ping balls. So it was granted him. For the next ten years, Richard kept a careful eye on his son. Every night, James could be heard whispering madly, "It's almost ready," over and over. For his twenty-eighth birthday, James asked for a simple wooden box that had one million pink ping pong balls inside. "What do you need all those pink ping pong balls for?" Richard finally asked. James froze, fiddling with something in the pocket of his jacket. "Oh yes, that. They were necessary for--" Then he got hit by a bus.

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whats worse than one bee sting... two bee stings whats worse than two bee stings... the holocaust whats worse than the holocaust... three bee stings

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Cancer.

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Why did the girl fall off the swings? She didn't have arms

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how do you make a fat black man cry? Rape his wife.

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Who looks like Zach Efron? Shrek.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Weird, orange is my favorite color.

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What is the speed limit in front of Liberace's house? 40mph because that portion of the road is curved.

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Two men walk into a bar. And they enjoy a good night of drinking beer and playing pinball.

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Two Jews walk in a bar...

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What is the difference between a dog and a North Korean tank. When I see a dog I think wow, what a cute dog. When I see a North Korean tank I run away screaming, as do many others, and I hope the marines come and save us.

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A black man without problems.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have AIDS, Now you do too!

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my names jim haha

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What's black and white and red all over? An interracial couple in a car crash.

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Did you hear the joke about the deaf man? Neither did he.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sarah.

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Q. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become? A. It will Wet or Sink, as simple as that.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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