there were ten in the bed and the little one said roll over so they all rolled over and one fell out then got back up and punched the little one in the face saying good night

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What's purple and fuzzy? A piece of purple fuzz.

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What happens when your scared half to death...twice!!? Nothing, being scared half to death is an expression, you should not be fearing for your life.

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noah is a scrub jungle

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i'm here at a school my friend is eats a pool fuck yeh

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I once duped this chick with a parrot. Crazy thing wouldn't shut up. The parrot was pretty cool

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What did the farmer say when the potatoes were ready for harvest? The potatoes are ready for harvest.

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What's worse then the WNBA? Nickelback.

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What do Austrailian cows say? Moo.

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Whats worse than finding out one of your grandparents died, finding out both your grandparents died.

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why did the man pee in public? ... he couldnt hold it in.

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Your mother is so fat, when she stepped on a scale, it read quite a large number. She resolved to live healthier and exercise more.

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George Washington, a priest, a nazi and a jew are on a plane that's going to crash. There is only one parachute. George Washington says "For my country" and jumps off without a parachute. The priest says "For God" and jumps off without a parachute. The nazi says "For Hitler" and pushes the jew off and takes the parachute.

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What did the homeless man say to bill gates? Nothing he was about to die.

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If the human population held hands around around the equator A significant portion of them would drown.

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What did the Mexican say to the Pirate? Hi, Steve!

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How do you make an emo kid cry? He already is.

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Don't tease the fat kids. They have enough on their plates.

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Why did the kid get a bicycle for his birthday? Cause his father is a respectable parent who loves his child.

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Why did the chicken open door? It can't. Chickens don't have hands.

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Girl 1: I just can't find the man who'll make the perfect husband for me. Girl 2: Maybe you're asking for too much. Girl 1: Yeah, probably.

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knock knock whos there? andy andy who? andy gold hi come in

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What do a goat and an eagle have in common? They both can fly, except for the goat.

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knock knock who's there? Ah Maj. Ah Maj who? (say it outloud)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops