How do you greet your great great grandmother born in 1738? Hey, what's up, hello.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why isn't Juley at school today? Oh Her father chopped off her arms and legs, gagged her, ripped out both eyes and threw her in a lake tied to cinderblocks!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's yellow and smells like cheese? Cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the Albino say to the other albino? Due to heredity and our inheritance of Chromosomes causing albinism, We could be displaced in society but luckily, we have eachother. They went home and lived happily. But not ever after. That craps or normal people. (freaking albinos...)

thumb_up thumb_down -12

It's all Taggart

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How do you get clean dishes? You wash them.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the creeper not go home? Because his parents blew up. (As told by a 7 year old.)

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why was the boy drinking toilet water? Because he was receiving a violent swirly. He then went home and killed himself.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Knock know! Who's there? Aids! Aids who? Aids! Aids who? Orange! Orange who? Orange you glad I'm not aids!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the chicken die? Because it was crossing a busy road.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

life is like a box of chocolates, it sucks if you have diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the car get sucked up by the tornado? Because it was in Pilger, Nebraska.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Jimmy is taking a walk to Dairy Queen he walks into an allyway where he is shot with a 44 magnum and later dies in hospital his family morns

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the man say when he saw Niagra falls? Nothing, he was blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did Tiarnan not ride is bike to school today. Tiarnan's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why is the wimpy guy so strong and angry now? Because he took steroids.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

i like how everyone hates a german version of an antijoke but no one has aknowleged the english one

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A man walked into a bar. He was accused of being to drunk to drive so someone called a cab for him and he was forced to leave.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She was blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A cricket walks into a bar and the bartender says,"Hey, we have a drink named after you!' and the cricket says,"Oh really? You have a drink named Joe?"

thumb_up thumb_down -12

what do eagles and chetos have in common....... they both can fly except for the chetos

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q) A Christian, slightly disabled but perfectly capable man has a packet of Jaffa Cakes. He strolls casually toward the edge of a cliff, rapidly checking his watch. The man slowly examins the packet before gradually opening the packaging. First the box, then the packet. He quickly throws the jaffa cakes over the edge of the cliff, Why? A) The man doesnt like jaffa cakes

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A bishop died and went to heaven. At the Pearly gates he sees Saint Peter , so he says to Peter "All my life I've been a committed Christian, but I just before I died I was tempted by a woman of ill repute". Saint Peter says "This is just an illusion, your dying brain is merely conjuring up images based on your presuppositions of an 'afterlife'. You have about three seconds left"

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops