An SQL query walks into a bar, sees two tables and asks if it can join them.

Boy, is it hot this summer! How hot is it?! So hot that many people have died as a result!... Drink plenty of water.

Why didn't LeBron James go to college? Because the opportunity to secure millions of dollars in salary straight out of high school was too lucrative for him to pass up.

Why did the chicken cross the road? No one knows because it never told anyone. Chickens can't talk.

What did Helen Keller say to her mother? Nothing coherent.

A guy walks into a bar and says, "I'm Japanese". The guy at the counter says "What a coincidence! I am Japanese too." He gets seated and the guy next to him says, "I'm Japanese too." The bar is in Japan.

Weaner

Whats fluffy, multicolored, and dances like a disco santaclaus? i don't know.

What do you call a joke that is not funny? An un - funny joke.

What's the first thing that goes through a persons mind when they get shot in the head. The bullet.

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple?  Getting raped by a 10 foot scorpion.

what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? wheres my tractor! why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. why did the farmer cross the road? To get his chicken. Why didnt the farmer make it to the other side? He was hit by his tractor.

What's long, hard and full of semen? A penis

What do you call a deer that has no eyes? I have no eyedeer

What is the difference between a duck? One leg is both the same.

What do you call a penguin in the desert? Most likely a dead penguin.

What was the black kid carrying when he was running down your street? His television set

I once met a man named Steve. I said, "Hello."

Why are black people so ghetto? because they live in the ghetto

A hooded black man walks into a Convenience store. He orders a cup of hot chocolate as it is very cold outside.

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple You thought I was going to steal an anti-joke didnt you squidward

What do you get when you cross a black guy and a keyboard? A black guy punctured by a keyboard

what do you call cheese that isn't yours? not your cheese, you probably stole it.

why didnt jane scream when she got robbed? Because she got shot.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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